Light a Candle, I'll Find my Way Home
by BelovedMaeve
Summary: AU: Callie and Jude are found by the Fosters right after their mother's death and their father's incarceration.
1. Introductions

_This happened because one character talked to another character in one of my other stories. Now I can't sleep. Hopefully sending this out there will help._

"Jesús, please be careful!" Lena warned as she watched her son climb the tree.

"I'm being careful Mama!" he called back, eyeing the tree truck carefully as he looked for another handhold.

"Remember, your Crow's Nest can only go the that tall branch on the left. That the deal you made with Mom and me," Lena warned for the fifth time, gnawing at her lip in concern.

"I know Mama, I won't forget," Jesús's tone was exasperated. "Okay Brandon, I'm ready for the board," he called down to his brother, leaning carefully into the crook of the tree so his body was balanced.

Lena's gaze shifted to her older son who was trying to read with one hand and absently pass his brother the piece of plywood with the other. "Brandon, if you're going to help your brother, you need to pay attention," she scolded as Jesús made an aborted grab at the wood.

Brandon heaved a sigh as he glanced upward, put his book down, and used the Y of the tree trunk so he could step up and hand his brother the board. "It wasn't my idea to help Jesús," he said matter-of-factly, "I was conscripted into it."

"Mom asked quite nicely, I believe," said Lena with a tolerant smile.

"I seem to remember it differently."

"Mom wants you to be more like me," boasted Jesús, "getting lots of exercise and running free," his thrown open arms would have worked better for dramatic effect had he not dropped the board, narrowly missing his brother and nearly falling out of the tree.

"Yeah," said Brandon dryly, "this is a lot more fun then finishing "The Scarecrow of Oz."

"The book will still be there if you decide to play for awhile," said Lena, then looked at her other son, "_Jesús_, please be careful."

"Maybe, but Mariana said something big happens in this book and if I don't hurry up she'll tell me before I have a chance to finish it and ruin it!" Brandon sent an aggrieved look at his younger sister who was swinging innocently on the other side of the tree, then bent down to retrieve the errant board.

"And I wi-ill," sang Mariana as she swung towards the house, hanging upside down.

"Mariana," warned Lena, trying to hide her smile. Her mother had brought the series with her the last time she visited and both Mariana and Brandon had latched onto the books with ferocious intensity, arguing about who would read which book and generally trying to torment one another with secret knowledge. Since they were not a house that would, G-d forbid, take away books from children, they had to deal with the fall-out.

"She's such a pain," grumbled Brandon as he handed the board back to his brother.

"You're telling me," said Jesús cheerfully.

"I am not. You guys are always ganging up on me. We need another girl in the family," Mariana pouted, slowing the swing so she could begin to twirl it.

"You've got Moms," Jesús reminded her. "There's already more girls in this family. We don't need anymore."

"I want a sister, Mama," said Mariana, beginning to spin now in the swing.

"Why don't you invite Lexi over tonight?" suggested Lena. "We'll find something special to do tonight."

"Okay," the idea of a sister immediately forgotten, Mariana rushed to call her best friend.

Lena smiled, she was grateful that Mariana and Lexi were so close. Lexi was a sweet girl and a very good friend. Unlike many little girls, Mariana and Lexi rarely fought and had remained close since Mariana began attending Anchor Beach.

Her phone rang at her side, startling her slightly. She checked the phone window, "Hey Bill, you need to come over for a mandatory visit, no that's right," she said, faking more hilarity to watch her sons giggle at her, "the twins are adopted so we don't need to see you anymore!" The boys cheered as she turned to the house, dropping her voice a little, "not that we don't love you or anything."

There was a slight silence on the phone, then Bill, cleared his throat. "This isn't a social call. Sorry Lena. I need your help."

"What's wrong?"

"I've got two kids that-"

"I need to stop you right there," said Lena firmly. I was semi-joking with you earlier but we just officially adopted the twins four months ago. We can't take two new kids Bill. Not even for a short amount of time. I'm sorry," she spoke rapidly, trying to finish and hang up on him as quickly as politeness and the dictates of her own heart would allow.

"Lena, wait. I'm at my wit's end. Truly. I tried to avoid calling you, but I really don't think I have anywhere else to go. I have two kids, a boy, seven, the girl's ten. Their mom died in a car crash on Wednesday, and their dad's in jail for causing the crash."

"Bill-"

"They were staying at the home, a coworker of the dad's was staying with him but on Friday…I guess the girl had a major temper tantrum."

"What kind of major tantrum."

This time the pause was very audible, "She… trashed her room pretty badly. She pretty much broke everything there."

"No Bill, no way. Are you kidding me? I cannot bring a violent child into out home. We have little kids here. Stef would never allow it and neither would I," Lena's stomach knotted at the thought.

"She's not violent, I swear. It was just a tantrum she-"

"Bill, I love you, I do, but your loyalty is to your kids. It's admirable, but I have to look after mine."

"I promise you Lena, she isn't violent. I care about my kids but I would never abuse your trust in me, and I wouldn't knowingly put Jesús, Brandon, and Mariana in harm's way. I've looked at her school records, any documents I can get my hands on and there is no history of violence. Not one thing. She's just grieving. You know how grief can effect people."

Lena sighed, her silence giving him permission to continue.

"The coworker and his wife didn't feel they could handle it. The kids went into an emergency foster home Friday night."

Lena leaned her head against the wall, sorrow filling her, as she thought of the two little ones who had lost their family and home within two days. "Bill, I feel horrible for them, I do, but we-"

"I guess the little boy brought something of his mom's with them. A dress or a scarf, or something, I'm not really sure. Something very feminine. Anyway, some of the older boys found him and – pushed him around a little. They didn't really hurt him," he said over Lena's indrawn gasp, "but I guess they scared him pretty badly. Lena, you know how hard it is to place LGBTQ children, or kids that people think have any sort of remote chance of that."

Traitorously, Lena felt herself began to weaken. She knew that was true. She took a deep breath, "I need to talk to Stef, Bill. I can't make this type of decision without her."

"Can you call her, right now?" Bill's voice had gotten more desperate, "This is just a really hard day for them and I want them to be able to go to a safe home tonight."

"Why, what else happened?"

"They're at their mother's funeral today."

They both breathed in the silence. Bill damn him, knew exactly what buttons to press. "I'll call Stef," she said, "then I'll call you back."

"Thank you Lena, than you so much."  
"I'm not promising anything Bill," she wondered if her words sounded as false to him as they did to her.

From the relief in Bill's voice, they did, "Alright. Thanks again."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Her partner was, irritatingly enough, impossible to get ahold of. She called her cell, she called the precinct, but was told in no uncertain terms that Stef was on patrol and could only be gotten ahold of in the case of an emergency. Lena glanced at the clock, which was nearing dinnertime. She wondered what Bill was doing with the kids, would he feed them? Bill had been calling her nearly nonstop and she could feel herself fraying slightly, the tension of not being able to talk to Stef and the weight of the decision on her shoulders destroying her normal even temper. Her children had wisely caught on to this unusual occurrence and retired upstairs to play. She picked up her ringing phone for what felt like the hundredth time. "No Bill, I haven't heard from her," she snapped into the phone.

"Can't I bring them, please? They're exhausted, they need someplace to rest," Bill pleaded.

Lena bit her lip, her generous heart warring with her fears for her children. She looked around their warm house, where every inch of it exemplified their happy family. She sighed, "bring them. We'll take them, for now, but yo need to start looking for a good place for them. A permanent place."

"I will," the relief in his voice was unfeigned.

Lena closed her eyes as she slumped down onto one of the kitchen stools. She sat there, second guessing her decision and frantically trying to figure out what her next step would be. Like a gigantic testament to Murphy's Law, the phone rang again. She looked at the caller id. Stef, of course. "You have terrible timing," she told her lover.

"What's wrong, I have about a million missed messages, are you okay? Are the kids okay?" The questions were rapid but lacked any real alarm. Stef knew if there was a real emergency, they would have broken into her patrol.

"We're okay," just hearing Stef's voice made Lena feel better. "I've got some interesting news," her voice took on a different note. "I just want you to hear me out, okay?"

On the other end of the line, Stef covered a chuckle. Lena was using her very rare, give-me-what-I-want-because-I-am-a-beautiful-goddess tone, so named by Stef. Stef smiled because Lena rarely asked for anything, didn't have to ask for anything, really. Stef had mad it her mission on earth to give her whatever she wanted. This was not an honor she afforded her children. She had gotten use to telling Brandon "no" when he was about two. Jesús had taken a bit longer but when his wild requests included alligator wrestling and orbital parachuting, it had become a lot easier. Mariana had taken about double amount the time of the other two because her timidity had been so great in the beginning, that Stef and Lena had gotten a private delight in spoiling her. A little. Her open-mouthed delight and stunned wonder had nearly allowed them to spoil her rotten. Luckily, cooler heads had prevailed and eventually they'd gotten themselves under control. But Lena, Lena was in a class all by herself and Stef acknowledged that very early in their relationship. "Okay," she said.

Lena spilled the story within minutes, interspersed with her feelings and observations of Bill's desperation, the worry about the children's state, and other such information. Then Lena dropped the clincher, "I already told Bill to bring them," her voice held a mix of tentativeness and stubbornness that Stef would have found adorable on any other occasion. "Lena!"

"I know, I know."

"Love, we can't save all the starfish," she said, referring to a poem that hung in Lena's office.

"We can save these ones," Lena said, the pleading in her voice palpable, she gripped the phone tightly, willing her lover to believe in her choice.

"They aren't dangerous? They won't-"

"No," said Lena. "Bill said he wouldn't do that to us and I believe them. They're sad, and the girl is acting out, but that's all there is."

Stef's sigh echoed her own, earlier ones, "Alright love, I trust you."

"Thank you."

"We can talk more when I get home. It'll be another hour," Stef's voice was a little dry.

Lena refrained from rolling her eyes, "I'm sure we will."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Lena placed the phone carefully on the counter and lowered her head onto her hands. Okay. Now for the next part. "Kids!" she yelled.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Their mom died," Mariana's lips trembled a little as she looked at her mother, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"Yes, ess than a week ago," Lena reached out to cup Mariana's face with her hand.

"Where's their dad? Or their other mom or whatever?" Brandon's face was somber. "Where's their family? Why isn't there anyone else to take care of them?"

"Their dad got into trouble and is in jail," said Lena carefully, not wanting to give them the particulars of the accident yet. "They must not have any other family."

"Any other family that will take them anyway," Jesús's tone was matter-of-fact. Both Mariana and Brandon looked at their brother, then nodded.

"How long will they be with us?" Mariana asked.

"I don't know honey."

"What do you want us to do?" asked Brandon, sensing this was more than an informational talk.

"Well, first of all, I want you all to be very nice to them. Remember this is a really, really hard time for them," Lena looked at them seriously. None of her children had ever been to a funeral, this was a wholly new experience. "I also want you to watch them carefully, not to spy on them, but to make sure they're okay. Sometimes when people are sad they have a hard time saying how they feel and sometimes they think they should be feeling one way when they're feeling another way."

"I can do that," said Mariana eagerly. Mariana, with her empathy and her survivor's skill of environment, would be very aware of the emotions of the people around her. Brandon nodded, watching his mother carefully. He seemed to catch the undercurrent in her tone, because his second nod was more serious.

"Me too," said Jesús eagerly.

Lena tousled his hair fondly. Her little boy, as willing as he was, had a difficult time figuring out the emotional temperatures of the people around him. With his family it was easier, but even then there were challenges. "I know you will sweetheart. The other thing I need you to do mostly concerns Brandon and Jesús."

The boys sat up a little straighter.

"Jesús, you're going to share Brandon's room for a little while. We'll get the air mattress for you. Jude and Callie are going to stay in your room for a little bit."

Jesús frowned, "Why can't they stay in Brandon's room and he can sleep in my room?" he asked.

_Because Brandon's room has a keyboard and other expensive equipment that would take a lot of money to replace,_ Lena thought. "Your room has less stuff," she said honestly. She and Stef kept his room to a bare minimum, determined that until he learned better organizational skills, or developed more maturity, the less in his room the better.

"Okay," he didn't sound thrilled at the prospect but at least he wasn't whining.

"Okay," Brandon echoed.

"Thank you boys, you're being very generous," Lena praised them, both of them looked pleased.

"I can share too," said Mariana.

"We might need you too," said Lena. "Thank you baby. I appreciate you guys being so good about this. It really, really helps me. I needed that tonight. Brandon, Jesús, if you could get started, get two air mattress, one for you and one for Callie or Jude, and Jesús, get some clothes for tomorrow, pajamas, and anything special you want to take to Brandon's room. Callie and Jude are probably going to be very tired and I don't want them disturbed."

"Okay," the boys ran off.

"Me too Mama?" asked Mariana, twining her arms around Lena's waist.

"That would be a big help sweetheart."

"Okay," the little girl disappeared up the stairs as well.

As if realizing all the fates had finally aligned, there was a knock at the door.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The children had yet to let go of one another's hands. Lena couldn't tell whether they were clutching one another, or if the little girl, Callie, just refused to let go of her brother. They both looked wan, their pale skin in contrast with the black they were wearing. She and Bill had taken their suitcases to Jesús's room and Lena had encouraged home to get into something comfortable. They had done so, but then hadn't left the room until Lena had gone back upstairs an gently escorted them down. The girls' face was almost fearfully blank. She seemed to be in shock, and Lena decided her first priority the next day would be to get the information from Bill so they could take her to the doctor's. The little boy seemed withdrawn, but at least his grief seemed more obvious, and being such, easier to deal with. Now they all sat together, the pizzas in the center of the table, cooling slightly while the children looked at one another across the table. Her kids tried to talk to the Jacob children, but Callie only stared at them and Jude answered in one or two word answers. Lena made sure everyone had food and sent subtle glares at her children to stop them from staring. The awkward conversations were broken when Stef walked into the room, all buttoned up in her uniform, "Hey babies," she said to her children. "Hey love," she said with a kiss that said both I-love-you and I-forgive-you.

Lena kissed her back with mingled relief and love.

Suddenly, an icy voice, coupled with a disgusted look, broke their harmonizing, "What are you guys, freaks or something?" Callie asked.


	2. The First Night Redux

_So I don't know if this needs to be said, but being as this is AU, and happening about six years before the season premiere, little Callie is not going to be reacting the same way as sixteen-year-old Callie. Little Callie is not looking for a new mother, much less two. She hasn't been through multiple foster homes, so she isn't going to recognize the Foster-Adam's home as a safe haven. She wants her own home, her own parents. Attitude and adjustment are the name of the game for awhile. Anyway. Thanks for reviewing. This should be an interesting journey._

A silence bomb detonated in the kitchen leaving the five members of the family in various states of response.

Stef looked at her children; Mariana was wearing a troubled expression while Brandon was sporting a frown. Jesús didn't bother to let the silence settle a second longer then it had. "They aren't freaks!"

Callie's face shifted, showing more emotion than she had all afternoon. She folded her arms mutinously, her body language displaying more than words could say.

"Isn't she adorable," said Stef in an undertone to her wife.

Lena sighed and gave her a exasperated look mingled with concern. "Callie," she said calmly, "in this house we use kind words to the people around us." Without drawing any more attention to the little girl, or let her continue arguing, she spoke to the rest of the children, "go ahead and finish up your pizza kids, we'll watch a movie after dinner."

"Cool," said Jesús, shrugging off his earlier frustration, emotional changeability a hallmark of his general personality and moved onto important matters…like food.

"Okay," piped Mariana, looking between her mothers and Callie nervously.

Brandon merely nodded and concentrated on his pizza, but he watched Callie carefully out of the corner of his eyes.

"I could use some pizza too," said Stef, maneuvering herself onto a stool and ignoring Callie when she edged away from her, "did you guys save me any cheese?"

Jesús snorted, "dream on Mom, you know the cheese pizza is for us."

"You can have my piece Mommy," said Mariana, "I only took one bite," she lifted her plate towards Stef.

Stef grinned and gave her hand a little kiss, "I'm just kidding baby. I want the Mama pizza, the one with all the vegetables and stuff."

Jesús made retching noises as he crammed half a piece of pizza in his mouth.

"Oh Jesús, dude," said Stef, "a little table manners please."

He shrugged and grinned at her. Stef rolled her eyes and looked at the Jacob children. "Did you help eat all the cheese pizza too?" she asked.

Jude looked at her shyly, a little smile appearing for a brief second as he nodded.

"You did!" said Stef, playing up her shock, hoping to see the smile widen.

"I don't like this pizza," said Callie. "I like the pizza from Pizza Hut the best. That's the kind we always get. This pizza sucks."

"We'll try that next time Callie," said Lena as she passed some water to Stef and a napkin to Jesús. Stef raised an eyebrow at her wife.

Callie's gaze shifted between them, looking both pensive and frustrated.

The rest of dinner employed a similar conversational style. Nobody was really up to their usual jocular conversation, knowing the two little visitors had attended their mother's funeral that day. Callie didn't say much more but Lena was slightly encouraged by her previous outbursts if only because she was at least engaging with the family, unlike before when she seemed miles away.

Jesús had been sent upstairs to take a shower and Mariana, a notoriously slow eater was still only halfway through her pizza when Lena turned to Brandon, hoping she could have a moment to speak to her partner. "Brandon, why don't you take Callie and Jude into the living room? They can pick the movie for tonight."

"Sure," Brandon slid off of his stool and headed for the living room. Callie sat still for a moment, looking around the table, then reached for her little brother's hand. Silently they followed Brandon.

Stef breathed out slowly as she looked at Lena, then nodded towards the door. She got a slight nod in return. "Mama and I are going to step outside and talk real quick sweets," she told Mariana. "Please finish up your pizza so we can start the movie when we get done."

"Okay," said Mariana, taking another tiny bite.

Stef put a hand on her lover's back, leading her gently out the door. "Lena," she said softly when the door had closed.

"I know," Lena held up her hand, pulling her sweater more tightly around herself. "I know everything you're about to say Stef, you don't have to say it."

"Isn't that a part of processing our feelings?" Stef said, rubbing at her head tiredly.

"No, you're right," Lena sighed, "you have every right to say how you're feeling about this. I'm sorry."

Stef grinned wryly, drawing her partner in for a close embrace, "I know you know what I wanted to say. Don't worry about it. It's just, well – she has some issues."

"She just buried her mother today," reminded Lena from the cocoon of her lover's arms.

"I know that love. I think she…they…really need some help. Are you sure we're the most qualified to do that?"

"No," admitted Lena, "but I think we're the only ones who are in the position and have the willingness to help them right now. We can't let them sit around in a group home, waiting for months or years for the perfect people to come around. We're the ones here now. We have a chance to do something, and even if we make some mistakes I'll sleep better knowing that at least we tried and everything we did was in the hope that it would help them." Even with her face half buried on Stef's shoulder, her words came through clearly.

"You and your soft heart," said Stef, tweaking one of her curls.

"Says the woman who brought home twins," Lena reminded her.

"Yeah," Stef kissed her forehead.

They stood like that for several minutes, soaking in the warmth of their connection, watching as the sun sank lower into the horizon. Lena sighed and leaned forward to kiss Stef's lips gently. "We better get in there. We've got five kids in the house now. Who knows what kind of chaos they could cause."

"Five kids," Stef shook her head. "We're like the damn Brady Bunch."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"So here are our movies," said Brandon, beginning to pull out the pile of DVDs. They didn't have as much as his friend Aiden, but they had a fair amount. "Most of them are rated G, some PG but they don't have any bad stuff in them, my moms are pretty strict about that."

Callie didn't bother looking through the movies, her face tilted towards the kitchen as she ignored him. Jude leaned forward curiously, going through the movies with careful deliberation. Suddenly his movement slowed, then stopped. Brandon leaned closer, to see what movie had caught his attention. "Beauty and the Beast?" he asked, "you like that one?"

Jude nodded. "Uh-huh," he mumbled.

Brandon grinned at the little boy. Mariana was going to absolutely love this kid. They might actually become friends which would be cool since Mariana still had a tendency to be shy around new people. "Well you're going to be Mariana's favorite person ever. This is her top choice of movies." He turned to Callie, his smile fading as he looked at the stony, threatening look on the girl's face. He stood up and began carefully backing into the kitchen. He'd read somewhere about not breaking eye contact with predators, and it seemed like a pretty good idea in this case too. "I'll go tell my moms that we chose a movie," he called near the stairway, definitely out of pouncing range.

Once in the kitchen he headed straight for his mom who was drinking a beer as she tried to straighten up the kitchen. "Mama's checking on Jesús, she'll be down in a minute," she informed him before he asked.

"Uh-huh," said Brandon distractedly, looking towards the living room, "Mom you know how it's bad for boys to hit girls?"

"I know we've talked about the dangers of boys who grow up hitting girls sometimes become men who grow up to hit women," agreed Stef, putting down the leftovers she had in one hand to give her son her full attention.

"And dad said only assholes beat women," said Brandon, folding his hands and propping his chin to look at her.

"B, don't say that word," Stef sighed, putting the cold beer against her forehead, feeling a headache beginning to form.

"Not even if it's in a direct quote?"

"No."

"What if the person was not a regular guy like dad, but famous? Could I repeat a swear word if I were quoting _them_?" Brandon asked, genuinely curious and determined to get a complete answer.

"No."

"Oh."

Stef could see the wheels turning in her son's head and sighed. "Brandon, did you have another question you were going to ask me? Something that got this whole conversation started?" She tried to keep the annoyance out of her tone.

"Oh yeah. So, since I'm not allowed to hit a girl, what do I do if one hits me? Can I push her away, or should I not do that either? Do I just wait until she finishes pummeling me or whatever, then get up? Is there any point I can actually defend myself without getting in trouble, or should I let her bloody me up before doing anything?" The questions came out rapid fire as he touched one finger at a time to make sure he had listed all of them.

"First of all, I don't want you to let anyone hit you. Secondly, why are you asking me that?" She hoped it wasn't for the reason she was thinking of.

Brandon glanced meaningfully towards the living room. _Damnit._

"Did Callie tell you she was going to punch you?" Stef craned her neck as if she could see around the walls to the living room through sheer will.

"No, but she looked at me like she wanted to punch me," Brandon's tone wasn't fearful, merely matter-of-fact.

"How do you know that?" Stef moved closer to the counter as she leaned forward and braced her own chin on her hands, matching his thoughtful pose.

"I'm not stupid," he assured her.

Stef rolled her eyes, "I mean, what exactly made you think that?" she clarified.

"I dunno. Just a gut feeling, but you said we should always trust our gut. You said it's nature's way of helping us survive."

"Look," Stef shook her head a little, gathering her thoughts, "Callie's not going to hit you."

"She might. All I want to know is how much I should let her beat me up before I do something about it. I mean, you've seen her Mom. She looks pretty strong. If she hits me, I'm pretty sure it's going to hurt." He had yet to be hit by a girl that wasn't Mariana, and his sister tended to go more for slaps which were mostly attention-grabbing. Callie seemed like she would be a different story.

"If you think Callie's going to hit you, I want you to walk away," said Stef. Now the headache was in full force and she raised a hand to rub her head.

"What if she catches me?"

"Brandon," Stef began stridently, then took a breath. She could tell from his puckered mouth that she'd hurt his feelings. She knew he wasn't trying to irritate her on purpose but being the target of a hundred questions on top of the whole situation was starting to get to her. He gloomily turned away. "B, B!" said Stef.

He turned back towards her, folding his arms sulkily.

"I'm sorry," she said, walking over to him to give him a hug. "I didn't meant to hurt your feelings." He shrugged, trying to act as if he didn't care. "The truth is, I'm a little nervous about everything myself. I need you to step up here, and help Mama and me out."

He looked at her, lip retracting, "you want me to help?"

"I do. I want you to take extra, special care of the twins and I want you to be really sweet to Callie and Jude."

"I am Mom. Really."

"I know sweetie. And," she hesitated now, "if Callie tries to hit you, or the twins, I want you to get away as quickly as you can and find Mama and I or another adult you can trust." She cupped his chin briefly, "if she, I don't know, wrestles you to the ground or whatever, you can push her away, as gently as you can, and leave the situation as soon as possible."

"Okay," said Brandon, looking relieved. "I can do all that."

"Remember bud, Callie and Jude are going through a really, really hard time right now. They might say something or do something that makes you mad but it's your responsibility to take a deep breath and make good choices. That's how we help people who are going through tough times," she kissed his head.

"I know Mom, that's pretty much what Mama said too."

"Well, your Mama is the smartest lady I know so that must be a good plan," she gave him a nudge off the stool, "so, did you guys figure out a movie?"

"Beauty and the Beast," he gave her a sidewise little grin.

"Really? Sounds like Callie and Mariana are going to be getting along just fine," Stef said, starting to push him towards the living room.

"Nu-uh, it was Jude's choice," said Brandon, trying to snag a piece of fruit as he was shoved out the kitchen.

"Bud, you just ate."

"I'm still hungry, Jesús sucked down half the pizza before I finished on slice."

"Liar!" Jesús hollered as he came barreling down the stairs at 120 mph.

"Whoa, buddy. Slow down," Stef said, holding an arm out. "Did you wash your hair and everything?" She pulled him over to sniff his hair and briefly inspect him.

"Mo-om," Jesús complained immediately.

"Hey, I'm not the one who actually managed to have crust form on my ears, even after taking showers every night," she informed him critically, as she finished her inspection.

That's just 'cause I didn't always use a washcloth, but I do now!" said Jesús. "'Cause you and Mama make me," he muttered grumpily to his brother.

Brandon giggled and Jesús gave him a little shove. Before it could develop into a full-fledged wrestling match, Stef picked up Jesús with one arm and grabbed Brandon in a headlock with the other, "C'mon monkeys, let's go watch the movie." She pulled them into the living room, then released them.

Callie watched them from a chair, a protective arm around her brother. There seemed to be a lot of commotion in this house. Less so than the group home, but it was still a little nerve-racking

"What movie are we watching?" asked Jesús as Mariana and Lena appeared.

"Beauty and the Beast," Brandon said, looking at Mariana as he said it.

"Really!" Mariana's voice squeaked in childish delight, she grinned at Callie and Jude, then at her mothers, not registering Callie's instant frown. "That's so, so cool."

"Beauty and the Beast," whined Jesús, "I'm so sick of that c-"

Brandon grabbed his brother's arm when he noticed his Mom's warning look, "C'mon. Lets get the cards. We'll play triple War while we watch it."

"Triple War?" Jesús was immediately intrigued. "We've only ever done double War before," he headed for the cupboard to get the decks of cards.

"Uh-huh," said Brandon, "And we'll use jokers this time and they'll be worth the most. Five million!"

"No Brandon, let's make them 10 million…no a hundred million!" said Jesús eagerly.

"Sure." The boys settled to the side as they began rearranging the decks of cards. Mariana got the DVD and put it into the player. "This is my favorite movie," she said bashfully to Callie and Jude.

"Really?" piped Jude, in the same tone.

"I love Belle because she's brave and likes to read. Mommies say I'm just like her."

Callie's scowled harder at this declaration, and Mariana's forehead puckered in confusion as she looked towards her mothers for support. Lena nodded at her so Mariana carefully pressed play, then scooted back in between the couch where her mothers were sitting and the chair where the Jacob children were sitting, squished next to one another.

"I had an interesting conversation with Brandon about our new little ones," said Stef in Lena's ear after the first ten minutes of the movie passed in relative peace. The boys weren't really watching the movie. They glanced at it one and awhile but most of their attention was taken with their game, except when Jesús quietly sung along with Belle to Stef and Lena's great amusement. They weren't disturbing the other children, so their mothers didn't care.

"I wonder if it was as interesting as the one I had with Mariana," said Lena in the same tone.

Stef pressed her forehead against Lena's neck, "How do you think they're settling in," she said, her voice low enough to only be heard by her partner.

Lena looked at the Jacob children. Little Jude was clearly enraptured by the show, although his pleasure was subdued. Callie was still strung as tight as piano wire, every inch of her body exuding tension. "The poor little thing is scared to death. I wish we could do something to relax her more."

"Time I think, don't you?" Stef asked, reaching her hands to entwine both sets of fingers within Lena's.

"Yeah, but I'm worried. She's a ball of emotion but she has barely expressed any of it. That's not good for her."

"I imagine she'll probably-"

"Oh," said Jude, softly but distinctly as the strains of "Be Our Guest" filled the room, "this is the best song!"

"I think so too!" squealed Mariana, reaching up to grab Jude's hand in her excitement.

"Don't!" yelled Callie, sliding down from the chair and pushing Mariana away.

Mariana landed on her elbows and looked at Callie with wide eyes that were beginning to pool with tears. It was the violence of the action, not actual pain that made her begin to cry in earnest.

"Hey, hey, hey," said Stef, reaching for Callie as Lena picked up Mariana and began to soothe her.

"Don't touch my sister!" yelled Jesús, starting for Callie. Brandon tackled him clumsily so he couldn't go any further.

Callie batted Stef's hand away furiously and backed towards the chair, "Don't touch me!"

"Callie," said Stef evenly, "we don't hurt people in this house. You need to calm down."

"You need to leave me alone!" Callie shouted, her eyes darting around furiously as she looked for an escape route.

Jude looked around and broke into sobs louder than Mariana's cries. Callie's whole demeanor immediately crumpled. She put her arms around her brother. "I'm sorry Jude, I'm sorry baby," she said over and over.

Stef looked around the room, two crying kids, one on the verge, one spitting mad, and another with an I-told-you-so in his eyes. "Well," she said to Lena, "I think it's time for bed."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Getting five children to bed was about a million times harder then getting three into bed. The math shouldn't work that way, but it became pretty obvious that it was true.

Brandon was immediately sent to take a shower in the moms' bathroom. Mariana would only take a bath after him if Lena stayed with her. Jesús was banished to calm down in Brandon's room with some of his action figures and a whispered lecture from his mom. Stef didn't even want to attempt showers with the Jacob children, not knowing whether bathing would be an issue for them or not. She settled on making them wash their faces and brush their teeth which Callie facilitated after shutting the bathroom door rather abruptly in Stef's face. Stef gritted her teeth, and decided she needed to set a few ground rules with the little girl. Part of dealing with children was consistency, even in troubled times and she needed to do that now before things got out of control.

When the Jacob children emerged from the bathroom, Stef escorted them to Jesús's room and watched as they settled together on his bed, ignoring the air mattress entirely. Jude was looking between her and Callie with wide eyes. Stef decided to begin gently, "Do you guys need anything else for tonight? I'll get some water bottles and there's a nightlight already plugged in," she gestured to the wall.

"No thank you," Jude said, after his sister remained quiet.

"Okay. Well, I know Lena already showed you where our room was. You guys can come to us if you need anything. Don't worry about waking us up. It's important for you guys to be ok and we're happy to help you."

Jude nodded, but Callie simply folded her arms. Stef cleared her throat, "Callie, why did you push Mariana? She wasn't going to hurt Jude, she just wanted to share his excitement with him."

Callie shrugged slightly and glared some more.

Stef's voice took on a sterner edge, "well that wasn't okay. It's very important that everyone here feel safe. You guys, and the other kids. You are not allowed to hurt anyone," she held eye contact with Callie until the little girl finally dropped her gaze to stare at the bedspread. Stef nodded, then gentled her voice again, "why don't I read you guys a story? We have lots of books."

"I'm tired," said Callie stiffly. "I want to go to sleep."

After looking at his sister, Jude nodded hesitatingly, "me too," he agreed quietly.

"Okay," said Stef. "I'll get the water bottles, then let you sleep. Remember what I said about waking me or Lena up if you need anything."

She left the room and passed by her and Lena's bedroom on the way down the hall. She could see the kids piled in bed with Lena. She poked her head in, "Anyone need a water bottle?" she asked.

"Me!" said all three kids, barely glancing up from the book that was opened up on Lena's lap.

"Wine," mouthed Lena, then stuck out her tongue to show she was kidding, for now.

Stef grabbed the water from the kitchen and deposited it on Jesús's bed stand for the Jacob children. Jude was already nestled against Callie, and she was stroking his head with a sort of absent fondness. "Good night kiddoes," Stef said.

When she returned to her bedroom she picked up Jesús and plopped him closer alongside Brandon so she could squirm next to Mariana. Lena was reading The Willows in Winter, a sequel to Wind in the Willows that the children had been very eager to hear. She stroked Mariana's hair as Lena read on, laughing when the children laughed, and inch by inch, trying to relax. Her mind kept going back to their little visitors in Jesús's room, and she could see by Lena's glances at the door, that she was thinking of them too. How terrible, to be so small, and feel so helpless when dealing with such utter loss. It made her throat tighten, and she hugged Mariana a little closer, then reached out to stroke first Jesús's face, then Brandon's. About a half hour later, the children were beginning to look sleepy and were significantly more calm. The boys finally agreed to retire to Brandon's room, but Mariana flatly refused. "I'm scared," she murmured, tears already forming again, "please don't make me." Lena sighed, but she knew trying to get Mariana to sleep in her own room tonight would induce more trauma and most likely, an utterly sleepless night for Mariana, for Stef, and herself. "Okay," you can sleep in our bed, but Mommy and I aren't going to bed yet, so you'll be up here for a little bit by yourself. I'll stay until you fall asleep, but no complaining. That's the deal, understand?"

"Okay," Mariana snuggled into the covers which immediately relaxed her further. They smelled like her moms. Good smells that meant safety and warmth. Stef tucked her in first as Lena went to say good night to the boys. Brandon was reading and Jesús was listening to nature sounds, the only night music allowed to him, as he fiddled aimlessly with the sheets. "I don't know if I can sleep, Mama," he admitted "me head's full of too many thoughts tonight."

"Why don't you try the rain one," Lena said, pitching her voice low, "I think that always works, doesn't it."

"Oh yeah," Jesús brightened. "G'night Mama," he threw an arm around her, and gave her a hearty smack on the cheek.

"Ew, gross. Slobber," she teased, poking his belly. He giggled and closed his eyes. Brandon closed his book when she came over to his bed and sat on the side, "how are you doing baby?"

"I think I need extra reading time," he bargained, always looking for an opportunity for more reading time.

"Nice try buddy. You have twenty more minutes, then lights out." Lena kissed his forehead, and tucked the sheets around him.

He sighed, then nodded. "Okay."

"No flashlight either," she warned before she got out the door. "If you wake Jesús up he'll never go back to sleep, which means you won't either."

He nodded reluctantly, but with great understanding. Before they'd got a good handle on the medications, Jesús had had nights where he would be up until five in the morning, crash for a couple hours, then be up again. It was exhausting for everyone in the family.

"Night."

"Night Mama."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Why does Callie hate me Mama? I didn't do anything to her. I was trying to help. That's all," Mariana's voice was plaintive.

"Oh sweetheart, Callie doesn't hate you." Lena pulled Mariana onto her lap, kissing the silky black hair. "Remember that I told you when people were really sad sometimes they don't know what they're feeling? Callie's really sad right now and she's having trouble dealing with all that sadness. You didn't do anything wrong."

Mariana pulled the blanket over them both and frowned, "but it wasn't nice for her to be mean to me Mama. I was trying to be nice to her and Jude."

"I know that honey. But remember, Callie is very, very sad right now," Lena repeated, tucking a portion of Mariana's hair behind her ear, "she's sad and mad and is probably going to make some bad decisions. We have to do our best to help her and be kind to her."

"I'll be nice to her," said Mariana, "but I'm going to stay away from her for now."

Lena sighed, feeling guilty as she squeezed Mariana. "You are safe in our house, baby, I promise."

Mariana snuggled closer, "okay," she said quietly.

Lena rubbed her back until Mariana fell asleep, then walked down to join Stef on the couch. A glass of wine was already poured for her and she took it gratefully, "thanks honey," she said, kissing Stef's head before she sat down.

"Yeah." Stef put down her book and took off her glasses. "That wasn't a good night love," she said bluntly.

"I know," Lena said, fighting the urge to apologize. _She_ wasn't the one who attacked Mariana. She was, however, the one who allowed Callie into the house, "I'm sorry," she finally said.

Stef frowned, "I wasn't trying to sound like I blamed you. I just…she's a very angry little girl, and she scared Mariana. Jesús is all up in arms and Brandon thinks Callie is going to hit him."

Lena put down her wine without taking a sip, "what do you want to do Stef?" she asked.

"I don't know," Stef said. "I don't. I'm not saying we should…send them back."

"I hate that," said Lena.

"What?"

"Send them back, like they're a pair of pants that's don't fit or something that got broken in the mail," Lena plucked at the blanket on the couch, looking at the stairway with a lost expression.

"I didn't mean it like that," despite herself, Stef felt hurt. "You know what I was trying to say."

Lena pulled her attention back to her partner, "I know you didn't. I'm sorry Stef, that wasn't directed at you. I just feel so badly for her, but I really don't know if we can help her. I thought we could keep them, short term, for a couple of months until they could be put into a long-term foster home – a good one."

Stef pulled her arm until Lena lay against her chest, "I know that sweetheart." They sat quietly until Stef cleared her throat, "I can't help but feel sorry for her. Poor little thing. She's trying to be so tough, but you can tell she's barely hanging on."

Lena kissed her hand, "I can't help but think about our babies. If they were alone, I'd hope someone kind would look at them and see through their pain and see their good hearts, that someone would take care of them, so they weren't so alone…so lost in the world," her voice broke a little.

Stef kissed her cheek, then leaned forward until their foreheads touched and sighed, "we won't give up so early in the game. Let's see what we can do, okay?"

Lena's kissed her deeply, pausing to stroke her face as they pressed together more tightly. Then they lay quietly together, lost in their own thoughts, but connected by their entwined hands.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" The screams of a little girl filled the house. Stef turned frantically, trying to find Mariana within the blankets, only to find an equally pair of startled brown eyes when she found her.

What's wrong Mommy?" Mariana sounded frightened.

"Stef?" Lena asked, sounding groggy, she'd had a little more wine than usual and was feeling it.

"I don't know," said Stef thrusting Mariana towards Lena and rolling out of bed. She headed for Jesús's room at a run, opening the door to see Callie sitting straight up in bed, the dim lighting of the nightlight giving her a dark silhouette, her eyes blank but wide with terror. "Callie, baby, wake up. Wake up sweetheart," she gently stroked the little girl's back. Callie stopped screaming, but was reduced to panting breaths.

"What's happening Mommy?" asked Jesús, his voice much higher than usual. Brandon stood beside him in the shadow of the doorway, his hair standing up with bedhead making him appear more frightened.

"Callie's just having a bad dream," said Lena, corralling the boys as she carried Mariana in one arm, "let Mommy take care of her. I'll take you back to bed." She pushed Brandon ahead of her and grabbed Jesús by the hand.

"But what's wrong?" Stef heard Jesús say as he was lead down the hall.

It seemed like longer, but only seconds had passed. "Breath Callie, breathe baby," coached Stef softly as she looked at Jude. Shockingly, the little boy was still completely asleep, his mouth open as he breathed loudly, little arms out flung over his pillow.

Callie's breath began to slow, and her eyes blinked once, then again as she looked around the room. Finally she focused on Stef, and her lips twisted in grief. "It's okay sweetheart, it was just a bad dream," Stef said in the same soothing tones.

The little girl pushed back into the bed until the older woman was no longer touching her. Stef let her hand rest on the bed spread. Callie's eyes were wide and wet, trickles of tears running ceaselessly down her face, "no," she whispered, "no it's not."

"Baby-" Stef began.

Callie curled up on the bed looking smaller, her sobbing changing from fear to desolation.

Stef sat down on the bed, a lump in her throat. She wanted so badly to comfort the little girl, but knew it would be soundly rejected. A part of her felt she should let the child mourn in private, but a larger part couldn't bear to leave her alone in her sorrow. She sat, unmoving, unspeaking as Callie's sobs grew farther apart and her ragged breathing became a little deeper. Finally, she fell asleep. Stef knelt beside her, exchanging the damp pillow for a fresh one and wiped the little girl's face.

"Mommy," Callie whispered.

Stef stopped, blinking back tears, and gently kissed the child's cheek.


	3. Strangers

_Remember me saying something about mini-Callie and attitude? Grief takes interesting forms. A short chapter from her perspective. Thanks for reviewing!_

Callie Jacob didn't like this house. The sheets smelled funny and the kids were too noisy and they ate weird things for breakfast. She wanted biscuits and gravy and orange slices with all the white stuff taken off, just like her mom made. The kitchen was too busy so she sat next to Jude on another stool, keeping him out of the way in case one of those dumb kids ran into him or pushed him down or something. When it seemed to settle down a little she took a chance, sliding off the stool and heading for the coffee pot. She had managed to pour about half a cup before the mean, blonde police lady took it away and said, "I think some hot chocolate is in order, don't you?"

"I like hot chocolate," chirped the littler boy.

Callie scowled at the cop because hot chocolate was for _babies_ then she glowered at the kids because they were looking at her with their mouths open and dumb looks on their faces. She stomped back to her seat. "I want biscuits and gravy," she said to the table. "I don't like any of this food."

"I'm sorry Callie," said the black lady, "I can't make that this morning. Let's make it tomorrow. You can help me. Won't that be nice?"

Callie frowned at the table because _no_, it would not be nice. She wasn't going to make biscuits and gravy with this black lady, she wanted to make it with her _mom_. "Then I'm not eating." She bit her lip at her tone. She was being what her mom called "sassy" and if her mom heard her talking like that she would have shaken her head and said, "Callie Q," in a disappointed voice. But of course her mom wasn't here, so who cared what she said and how she said it? She could hear Jude making little whimpery noises and it made her stop, immediately. She accepted the plate of scrambled eggs and what the black lady said was turkey bacon, _what was that?,_ and she started eating it after giving Jude a tiny, little smile and putting the fork in his hand. She could take good care of him. She could! Once she started eating her stomach gave a little growl because she hadn't eaten any of that stupid, yucky, gross pizza last night and she was really hungry this morning. She looked around the table. The mean, blonde cop lady was talking quietly to the black lady. The little boy was thumping his fork on the table while he chewed. He had tried to hit her last night, but she wasn't afraid of him, of course. After all, he was only a little kid. She saw the little girl observing her and she bared her teeth at her, making the little girl immediately look down at her plate, tears welling in her eyes. Callie felt a little sorry about this. She felt like one of the mean, bully kids at her school, but she pushed the sorry down. She didn't like the _knowing_ look the little girl had given her last night and she didn't want the little girl pretending to be nice to her. It was confusing and after Delia at the group home…she didn't trust nice. She looked up and saw the bigger boy frowning at her. He had the same knowing expression as the little girl, but he didn't seem afraid, even when she gave him her worst glare. Instead he glanced at the little girl, then at her and gave her a _disappointed_ look. This offended her. Who was he to seem disappointed? He peered at the two ladies that were supposed to be the moms and she held her breath a little because she was sure he was going to tell, but he studied her again, then whispered to the little girl and made her giggle. Callie breathed a little easier and went back to eating her breakfast. This whole family was so weird. Whoever heard of having two moms in the same house? Shanna had two moms, but one of them was her stepmother and lived with her dad while her mom and Shanna and her little sister lived in another house. And this family didn't look alike either. Nobody in this house looked like each other…well maybe Mari-…maybe the two littler kids looked a _little_ like each other, with their straight black hair and dark eyes. But the older boy didn't even look like the lady that was supposed to be the real mom. She was blonde and he had dark hair and was all angled lines and long limbs. _She_ looked exactly like her mom. That's what everyone said, except her chin which was like her dad's, that's what they said too and Jude was this amazing mixture of all of them. Whenever they were together you could tell that they were a family. The fit together. Not like this family. Not like this family at all.

"Okay," said the mean, blonde cop lady. "Everyone know what we're doing today?"

Callie looked up, startled, as everyone around her nodded except her and Jude. She must have missed something while she was thinking. She looked around anxiously as the three kids grabbed their backpacks and lunches. Then St-the blonde lady and the black lady kissed. That was weird and it made Callie feel funny so she looked away. The kids kissed the black lady too, even the boys and they didn't look embarrassed about it at all, then they left. Callie lay her fork down on her plate and didn't eat anymore. Suddenly she really, really wanted those kids back. She looked at the black lady who was quietly cleaning the kitchen. She _seemed_ okay but what if she was a bad person? She was a _stranger_. What if she did something bad to them while the other kids were gone? Her food didn't feel so good in her stomach anymore. She looked at the table again and gritted her teeth. She wasn't going to throw up, she _wasn't._

Jude was looking at her with what their mom called his "little old man" look. "Are you okay Callie?" he asked.

She nodded, gritted her teeth some more.

"Callie?"

She heard the soft footfalls come towards her, and she blinked as she looked up at L-the black lady.

"Are you okay, honey?" the woman asked her.

She was very carefully not touching Callie, which made her relax somewhat. The black lady was keeping a safe distance, but her voice sounded like she actually cared. "I'm okay," Callie said quietly.

"Why don't you and Jude watch some television while I clean the kitchen?" the lady said. "You can lay down a little before we go to the doctor's office."

"The doctor's?" sudden tension ratcheted through her body once more.

"Yes, Callie," now the black lady looked concerned, "remember, that's what Stef and I told you at breakfast this morning?"

Callie looked at Jude who was also looking at her with concern. "I didn't hear you," she said in a small voice. Then it strengthened a little, "I don't want to go to the doctor's."

"I'm sorry honey, but that's a requirement when you're in a new home. I'm going to take you to my children's doctor, Dr. Fokelstein. She's very nice."

"I don't want to go to your doctor, I want to go to my doctor," Callie said. She tried to say it mean but she felt tears prickling at her eyes. Beside her, Jude started whimpering again at her tone.

The woman sighed a little, then said, "let's go talk on the couch." She carefully herded them to the living room, Callie making sure Jude was comfortable before settling herself, then sat on the coffee table in front of them. "This is a very, very hard situation," she began. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know there are a lot of things that are out of your control and I know how scary that can be. I also know it can make you mad. I want you to know that it's okay for you to have all of these feelings. Stef and I are going to try really hard to help you the best that we can, but I know we're not going to do things the same way as you're use too, the same way your mommy did them."

Callie felt her throat choking up a little so she coughed and pressed her hands to her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I miss Mommy," said Jude. "I want her to come back now." And to Callie's shock, he slipped off the couch, away from her, to put his hand on Lena's knee.

"I know you do sweetheart," Lena touched his face, then let her hand fall to grasp his own. "It's very hard and very sad when someone we love dies."

Callie looked at her, expecting her to say something more, like the people who came to their mom's funeral who talked and talked and talked but really said nothing, but she didn't. She just looked at Callie, and still held Jude's hand. Callie's lip trembled, she didn't like that lady holding Jude's hand, but Jude had leaned a little into that woman's side and she couldn't just take him away. That wouldn't be nice. That wouldn't be looking out for him and her mom always said she had to look out for him. She stared down at the couch.

"You guys can tell me and Stef, anything you're feeling and it will be okay. Any feeling you are feeling is okay," Lena repeated.

Callie looked at her suspiciously. That couldn't be true because when she thought of her mom she was ma-. No she wasn't, she clamped down on that thought. That wouldn't be right. She took deep breaths trying really, really hard not to cry. She didn't want to cry in front of this lady. She hadn't cried at the funeral in front of all those people, mostly strangers, and she wouldn't cry here. "When are we going to the doctor's?" her voice sounded flat and uncaring.

Lena looked at her watch, "we better leave now," she admitted, she let go of Jude's hand and stood up. "Do you want to take something with you? Something to play with in the car and at the doctor's office?"

Callie shrugged but she could see Jude out of the corner of her eye. He looked interested.

"I'll tell you what, my kids have special bags we call busy bags. We only use them for office visits and car rides. You can borrow them today."

Callie shrugged again but Jude nodded. When Lena came back she had three bags, one was green, one was blue, and one was pink. Jude immediately reached for the pink one and peered inside eagerly. "Ooh," he said, pulling out a coloring book.

Callie looked at the other two critically, and pulled some things out to look at them. When she saw a book of puzzles with the name Brandon on it, she knew she had the right bag. "I'll take that one," she said, indicating the blue one. The lady smiled at her and nodded, taking the green one back from wherever she had got it.

When they were buckled into the car, Callie stealthily pulled the puzzle book out. She found a black marker and began darkening the pages that hadn't been done yet so they couldn't be seen. She imagined the boy's face when he saw it. That would show him. She looked at the lady driving in the front seat, the one who talked like she cared. That would show all of them.


	4. Fights

_Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites. _

"How was your day?" Stef asked, watching her partner change into her pajamas.

"Interesting," Lena said, sparing a moment to find the right adjective.

"Interesting bad or interesting good?"

"Callie's looking to start something with Brandon. She completely destroyed his puzzle book when I let her borrow it for the doctor's visit."

"How could she be mad at him already? She barely knows him," Stef joked, changing her pajama shirt for a lighter one.

"Well she's cowed Mariana into submission but Brandon isn't afraid of her, he's just cautious. I think that annoys her."

"What are we going to do?" Stef brushed her hair from her shoulder as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, I bought him a new puzzle book, he won't care at all about the old one. Then I talked to Callie. She didn't try to hide it, so honestly I don't know if it's about Brandon, you and me, or all of us."

Stef shook her head, "will you talk to Brandon again about the whole rising above thing? I'm afraid she's going to keep pushing him and you know how stubborn he gets when he reaches that point."

"Wonder where he gets it from?" said Lena with a knowing look, pulling up her sleeves as she climbed onto the bed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Stef loftily. Switching to a more serious tone she added, "she seems really angry at everyone and everything right now. How long do you think that will last?"

"It depends on the person. People say kids are resilient but I think part of it is that they just don't have a lot of choices, so they just go along with things. Then issues crop up again when they're older, maybe because kids aren't as resilient as we think."

Stef rubbed her hands over her face, "is it bad to say I wish we could fast forward through this part? I feel…inadequate to deal with this."

Lena put her arm around her partner, "you're not inadequate, you just see how much pain she's in and you want to fix it."

"No ice cream fix for this one," said Stef softly.

"She needs time and she needs us to be consistent. We'll need to get her and Jude into school. Not tomorrow, I want to give them one more day, plus there's a couple of other DSHS requirements we have to fill. Then they'll only have two days to get through before the weekend. They can get a toe in the water without being overwhelmed."

"I know about the routine theory from the stuff I've read, but it still seems so strange to me. 'Hey kids, your mom's dead, dad's in jail, and you're living in a whole new house. Now let's learn fractions!'" Stef shook her head.

"The consistency is the important part. We don't have to expect high grades and great inroads to popularity. It's the routine they need."

Stef splayed, face-down on the bed, "yeah, okay. I understand that. Still seems weird."

"Yeah." Lena leaned over and put her chin on Stef's back.

"Jude's seems to be doing as well as expected," said Stef.

"As much as you can expect anything with someone you don't know," Lena agreed. "We'll need to be on the lookout with him too. The whole stages of grief process starts at a different time for everyone."

"Yeah." They stared towards the window, a light breeze from outside rustling the curtains.

"I wonder if we could go to their house, get a little more of their stuff," Lena said hesitatingly. "We could tell Bill it was to make sure they had enough clothes, save DSHS some money, but I bet we could also get some things that are special to them. Their toys, games…books maybe?"

"Do you think they'd let us do that?"

Lena wet her lips, "I don't know. I just think of Brandon being without his piano or Jesús his skateboard. What about Mariana and her blanket those first couple of years? She would have been devastated. I mean, what are they going to do with everything in the house. Does it belong to the state? Will they store it?"

"I'm pretty sure most of it will be sold to pay for any expenses or fines. Although how much money could they make off a little girl's stuffed animals and a little boy's action figures?" Stef scoffed. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Lena shrugged, "my biggest worry is that DSHS won't let us because they don't want the kids to have that much stuff. Travel light isn't just a motto with them, it's a necessity."

"Their situation is so different than the twins," Stef mused. "Jesús and Mariana barely had anything when they went into foster care."

"I know. Callie and Jude are older and have an entire household filled with things they are losing. I mean, who gets possession of their photo albums, of the family portraits they did when they were five? How can those just be stolen from them?" Lena was getting more upset as she spoke and Stef could tell that she had been thinking about this for a while. "It's a crime in and of itself," said Lena.

Stef turned over so Lena could lay on her chest instead, and contented herself by running her fingers through her lover's hair, "it is," she agreed, not trying to soothe her with platitudes, "it really is."

Lena relaxed into ministrations. There were times when Stef absolutely amazed her with how well she knew her. Lena didn't need words, she didn't need false promises. All she needed was the feel of her lover's hands on her body, sharing her grief without minimizing it, and offering comfort the best way she knew how.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

In their younger son's room, a little mite would have agreed with them about the tragedy of the situation. Callie gnawed on her thumb worriedly in the darkness, every once and awhile glancing at her brother, who had been peacefully sleeping for the last hour or so. She was a little confused about how the black lady had reacted to the puzzle book. She just said it was an unkind thing to do and that they expected her to be kind to everyone in this house. That was it. She hadn't yelled at her, she didn't even make her apologize to the boy, but maybe that was also because boy wouldn't get to see it. Callie worried her thumbnail as she tried to think of what to do. She was getting weary of trying to figure this family out and trying to protect Jude at the same time. She could feel her reserves going and she didn't know how long she could last.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena spent the following day a little on edge, not sure which direction Callie was going to go in. She contacted Bill about getting the kids belongings. He seemed a little unsure until Lena reminded him, in a sharp tone her children would have recognized on rare occasions, that she was doing him a big favor and that frankly, he owed her one. He said he'd look into it. The day was long, with Callie offering monosyllabic answers when she did speak, but mostly betrayed her choices and opinions with increasingly obstinate body language. Lena was a little relieved when it was time to pick up her other children. "Okay, Callie, Jude, I'm going to introduce you to your teachers this afternoon and you can see your classrooms. If you have any questions you can ask me or your teacher, understand?"

"Will you be with us?" Jude asked, leaning forward in his booster sheet to look at Lena.

"Of course. But you know what?"

"What?" he asked.

"You guys are lucky because I'm the vice principal there so I chose the teachers I thought would be the very best for you," Lena said, glancing at the children through the rearview mirror.

"Really?" asked Jude.

Callie looked down at her fingers. That was kind of cool. Her mom had always said that they had to settle for whoever they got, but Lena was actually the boss at this school.

School wasn't over quite yet, so the office was still relatively quiet as Lena led the Jacob children into the office.

"Hi Emily," she said to her always-pleasant office manager. "This is Callie and Jude Jacob. They'll be staying with us for awhile and be starting school here tomorrow. Callie, Jude, this is Mrs. Shen."

Emily stood up and walked around her desk to greet the children, "Hi Callie, Jude," she said, offering each of them a handshake, "I'm so glad to meet you."

Callie managed a quiet hello but little Jude grabbed Callie's hand and promptly buried his face in Lena's leg.

Lena didn't untangle him, but patted his head fondly and smiled at Emily. "Can you contact my kids' teachers and tell them to meet me here?"

"Will do, Lena," Emily said, "but you better not hang around too long, otherwise word will get out and you won't leave until midnight."

Lena laughed but Callie looked at her, somewhat askance. Obviously Lena was an important lady here. She looked at her brother who was still holding onto her hand and simultaneously plastered onto Lena. Callie really didn't like that he seemed to need Lena so much. Maybe he hadn't figured it out yet, but she had. They weren't going to be with these people for very long, so it didn't make any sense to start liking them or depending on them or anything.

Lena lead them into her office, moving papers expertly out of the way one her desk and restraining herself from peeking into the folders. She did shove them into her briefcase to review later however.

"This is your office, Lena?" Jude chirped, finally lifting his head.

"Uh-huh."

"It's nice. My daddy had an office before. We went to it."

If Callie's face had been closed before, it was a veritable thundercloud now. Before things could go badly, Lena opened up a cupboard that had a hanging dart board with a small, round 200 in the middle. "Have you guys played darts before?" She handed them the Velcro darts and demonstrated a quick, overhand toss. "Just like that."

Jude took the darts willingly as Callie stood and watched him with reluctant, troubled eyes. "Cool," Jude said as he managed to get a dart on the inner rim.

Thankful for a quick reprieve, Lena went out into the main office to grab her mail and speak briefly with Principal Sanchez. That meeting was lukewarm but she returned to the main office just in time to have her children meet her there.

"Hey Mama," said Jesús, "you didn't tell us you'd be back today," he reached into his backpack and thrust a paper at her and with barely a breath in between said, "look how I did on my geography test!"

Lena glanced at it quickly, "an eighty-two percent? Good job, buddy."

Jesús beamed at her, "it helped that we studied a little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, and a little at night, just like you said. My brain didn't feel too full at all!" She gave him a kiss on the head and a quick hug. "I'm proud of you sweetheart."

Mariana waited somewhat patiently for her turn. "I got a ninety-eight percent on my math test, it was the highest in the class. I would have got a hundred percent, but I misunderstood a story problem." She also had her paper clutched in her hand and showed it as proof.

"That's great sweetheart," Lena said giving her a hug and a kiss as well, Mariana holding onto her longer than either of her brothers would have.

"How about you, Brandon?" she asked, turning to her eldest.

"School was fine," he shrugged looking past her to the closed door of her office, "are Callie and Jude here too?"

"Yes. Would you guys like to go play with them?" she asked, indicating with her eyes that this was less of a question and more of a command.

"Sure," said Brandon, shrugging again.

"Okay," said Jesús, re-shouldering his backpack and heading for her office like a heat-seeking missile.

"I'll stay with you Mama?" Mariana asked, less of a question and more as a plea.

"No sweetheart," Lena told her, gently turning her but firmly pushing her in the direction of the office, "I need to speak with their teachers first," she noticed the two in question heading towards her, "go play with the other kids, please," she added, "and remember to show them kindness and understanding."

Mariana sighed but nodded. When she entered her mom's personal office, she noticed right away that if the boys were playing darts before, they weren't now. To be precise, they were playing darts, but instead of the board, they were throwing them at each other. Jesús and Brandon were laughing wildly as they described the points to be earned by hitting various parts of the body. Jude's mouth was open a little as he watched the boys, but there was a faint grin on his face. Mariana's eyes eventually found Callie, who was sitting on one of the chairs in the room, her knees drawn up to her chin. Mariana took another deep breath, be brave, be brave, be brave, she chanted to herself. "Hi," she said to Callie, dropping into the chair next to her.

After ten seconds of hard staring, Callie grunted a little and for some reason, that really irritated Mariana so the words that slipped out of her mouth were uncensored, "is that supposed to be hi, how was your day?" she asked.

Callie looked at her, a little surprised, eventually nodding. "Yeah."

Somewhat mollified, Marina tucked her own legs beneath her. "Mama says you're going to get Ms. Bradley."

"Yeah," repeated Callie.

"She's really nice. Her class was Big Buddies with my class in first grade. She always had great ideas for projects and stuff," Mariana smiled at the memory. It had been her first year at Anchor Beach and she had been surprised how good nearly every day had been. Her Big Buddy Carrie and the projects Ms. Bradley had spear-headed had been a large part of that.

"Great," said Callie, looking bored.

"I hope I get her for fourth grade, she's the best," Mariana pushed on, determined to be friendly to the stranger living in her home.

Callie squinted at her, pursing her lips, "She's not Brandon's teacher though," she said confidently. She remembered the older boy mentioning his teacher and she knew it was a guy teacher.

"No," said Mariana, ducking her chin in confusion.

"Well, if she's not Brandon's teacher, how can she be the best? I mean, he's the real son, so Lena would give him the best teachers," said Callie, watching her with calculating eyes.

Mariana's breath was shaky when she breathed in and she gulped a little as old fears niggled at her heart. She stood up from her chair, "that's not true!" her chin wobbled. The boys stopped and turned to look at them. Seeing her stricken face, Jesús assumed a menacing expression and sprang towards Callie, "what did you say to my sister!" he pushed her, harder then Callie expected and her hip slammed into Lena's desk.

Grabbing the wood to right herself, she plowed into Jesús, pushing _him_ into the desk. When one of his flailing hands tried to find purchase on the desk, it found the heavy desk top monitor instead. In what felt like slow motion, Callie watched as the monitor wobbled and headed for the ground. Unfortunately, Jude had glued himself to the end of the desk in an effort to get away from the scuffle.

"Jude!" yelled Callie, unable to get over Jesús in time.

Brandon grabbed Jude's arm and pulled him roughly towards himself. The monitor made a distinctive clunk as it hit the ground.

Callie pushed past Jesús to grab Jude from where he was standing, trembling, Brandon's hands resting lightly on his shoulders. "Are you okay Jude? Are you okay baby?" she asked him, hands frantically making their way down his arms and torso to ensure his continued wholeness. Her hands were shaky and she looked at Brandon, her eyes dark with emotion. She didn't say thank you.

Brandon didn't need her too, "he's okay I think," he told her, "just a little scared."

Callie hugged her brother to her, and looked with increasing dismay at the computer monitor.

"Callie," whimpered Jude.

"Jesús!" said Mariana

Jesús's lip puckered as he looked down at the monitor and he reached down to try and move it.

"Don't!" Brandon's voice was a snap and Jesús jerked his hand away immediately.

"I was gonna try and fix it," Jesús protested to his brother.

"You're gonna get hurt," said Brandon, shaking his head. He walked over to the monitor, examined it from all sides, then reached down to pick it up and set it awkwardly on the desk.

"You didn't get hurt," said Jesús sulkily, trying to cover his anxiety.

Brandon didn't bother to answer, only turned the monitor to face them. There was a crack running through the screen.

Mariana gasped and Jude grabbed his sister's hand, looking worriedly up at her. Brandon's lips had thinned and he looked at his siblings, then Callie. Right then, Lena opened the door.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The ominous quiet would have been enough to warn her, but it was her children's faces that let Lena know instantly that something was wrong. She closed her eyes, then opened them, "okay, what happened?"

The children traded glances and Lena narrowed in on Jesús's guilty expression, "Jesús?"

"I knocked down your computer," his gaze and tone were already so mournful, she could tell he was upset by his actions.

"It wasn't his fault Mama," Mariana said, "Callie shoved him right into the desk, he was just trying not to fall down," the glare she shot Callie was venomous and Lena could see trouble down the road if this wasn't cleared up carefully.

"Why did you shove Jesús, Callie?" Lena asked the girl, who was clutching her brother with a white-knuckle intensity.

Callie looked down. A muscle in her jaw twitched as she bit the inside of her cheek. She had never been a tattletale, and even if she was, who would believe her?

Mariana folded her arms and scowled fiercely at Callie, then frowned at her older brother who had opened his mouth minutely. He looked at his brother.

Lena sighed, "Jesús, did you do something to Callie?"

"Yes," said Jesús with a little whine, "but she made Mariana cry. No one's gonna be mean to my sister. I won't let them," the last was said with a decided little nod.

"What did you do?" Lena asked.

"I-I shoved her," said Jesús hesitantly, knowing this declaration would not be well received.

"Please go sit in the chair next to Mrs. Shen," said Lena, rubbing her eyes, "I'll talk to you in a moment."

"But-"

"Jesús Antonio Foster," the tone was quiet, but unyielding.

Jesús immediately closed his mouth and headed for the door. Mariana whimpered a little as the door closed. "Mama, it's not his fault, it's that girl's fault! She was saying mean things to me!" she said, pointing to Callie as if there was another girl in question.

Lena ignored her, "Brandon, Mariana, I want you to take Jude to Mrs. Malarkey's classroom, right now. She's expecting him."

"Okay. Mama, he really-"

"Now, Brandon."

Lip trembling, Callie released Jude's hand after looking at Lena's unyielding eyes, and Brandon's sympathetic ones. Jude looked at her, then Lena, as both one hand was held by Brandon, the other by Mariana. Callie had never seen the other kids so quiet and instantly obedient. Callie's legs felt a little shaky, and she put her hand on the chair to steady herself.

"Sit down please, young lady," said Lena, no-nonsense in her voice.

Callie sat, her eyes wide. Lena took a deep breath, and sat in the chair beside her. She began talking and her voice was so calm and thoughtful that Callie's surprise didn't even let her register what the older woman was saying until she had already been speaking for awhile. "I have a good imagination, I always have, but even though I think I have a good idea of what this is like for you, I still would only know a part of it. I think you are going through something unimaginable, something you wouldn't have ever thought you would have to worry about. And if that were not bad enough, I think there's something going on in your head that you think is so secret and bad you aren't even letting yourself know it. I think when you feel safe enough and strong enough, you are finally going to remember, and I'm telling you sweetheart, you'll get through it. You are a tough girl and you have a good heart. Both Stef and I recognize that. In the meantime," her voice took on a sterner edge as she crossed her legs and leaned forward, "You are not allowed to hurt anyone in our house. If you get mad at someone, I want you to take a deep breath, count to ten, and find something to do to help you calm down. If you continue to act out, there will be consequences, do you understand me?"

Callie had listened to this short speech with growing wonder and confusion. With the way the other kids had scattered, she was sure Lena was going to scream at her. That was a little scary since she'd always been so calm before. Callie was afraid that maybe she was one of the people that was nice, nice, nice then when you weren't expecting it…bam! After that Lena began talking about how she didn't really know how Callie was feeling but she sounded like she _might_ know…a little anyway. That made Callie's heart go a little faster, especially when she talked about secrets. That was bad. When Lena finally finished Callie continued to look at her. Who was this woman? "Okay," she said finally, after the silence had lengthened.

"Okay what?" asked Lena.

"I'll be nice to your kids. They'll be okay."

"Callie," Lena placed on finger under her chin and tilted it up, ever so slightly, ten taking is away, "I want you to be safe around the other kids, but Stef and I want you to be okay too. We care about you. _You_ are as important as anyone else."

Callie's face twisted a little. She knew Lena couldn't love her, they barely even knew each other. Why would she care if she were happy or not? Nobody else had. Her favorite teacher ever, Mrs. Masters hadn't come to take them to her house. The parents of her best friends Laura and Hayley, girls she had known since preschool, hadn't taken them home. Her mom's best friend Alex? Nope. They were gone; just like her mother, just like her father, but the worst thing was - they chose to be gone. Her parents hadn't. All those times other adults had said, "you're such a great kid Callie", and "we'd like to have you stay all the time Callie", were lies. They didn't care. Maybe they'd never cared. Callie hated them all. Now here was this stranger saying nice things to her, keeping her at her house when she knew she hadn't been a nice guest, something her mother always reminded her to be when she went to a sleepover. She put the edge of her thumb in her mouth, not sucking on it, that would be babyish, but biting it a little, unaware she was pressing quite hard until she removed it and found teeth marks. What did this lady want from her?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The little girl's confusion was so palpable that Lena had a hard time keeping her gaze fixed on her. She was hurting so much, and so badly, Lena was afraid that they'd never be able to fix it, even though all the books said you could. The emotions were raw and elemental, and all Lena wanted to do was pull the young girl into her lap and rock her like she was a baby, until the last of her nightmares faded away. "Being good to my children, is another way of being good to yourself," she said. "That's what I want Callie, that's all. Be good to them, be good to you."

Quite suddenly, Callie felt as if she were going to burst into tears and she had to actually dig her fingernails into her skin to stop it. She wanted to lay her face in Lena's lap and cry but she just looked at her, mouth sagging and eyes suspiciously wet.

Lena reached out to brush the little girl's cheek with the back of her fingers, moving slowly as not to startle her. Callie leaned into it for a brief moment, then straightened with a sigh, "I'll be nicer to them, I mean it."

"And if you get angry?"

"If I get angry I'll take a deep breath and count to ten," Callie recited.

"Sometimes it takes more then ten, sometimes it takes to twenty, or thirty. You keep counting until you get calm," Lena reminded.

Twisting her hands a little in her lap, Callie nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to take you to meet Ms. Bradley now, then I'm going to talk to Jesús. I need you to apologize for shoving him, and I think you owe Mariana an apology as well." Lena stood up briskly and held out a hand.

Callie remained seated, "What about the computer monitor?" she asked in a small voice. She knew computers were expensive. Her dad had wanted to buy a new one last month but her mom had said no way, they needed to save the money.

Lena lowered her hand, "I'm going to talk to Jesús, then Stef tonight and we'll figure it out. Right now, I'm thinking spending some of your time after school doing jobs around the school would be an appropriate consequence."

Callie nodded a little and stood up, straightening her shirt, "okay. Where's Ms. Bradley's classroom?"

Lena escorted Callie out the door with a hand on her shoulder. As soon as they passed the threshold, Jesús slammed into her. "Mama- I'm-sorry-I-shoved-Callie-I-won't-do-it-again-I'll-take-a-deep-breath-and-count-to-ten-I-promise," he said in one breath.

Before he could blurt an apology to Callie, Lena switched her hand from Callie's shoulder to Jesús's and said, "Jesús, I will be back to talk to you in five minutes, please sit back down."

"Mama, I've been in timeout for like a hundred minutes and I'm only supposed to be in nine minutes because I'm only nine years old!" he pleaded, hanging onto her hand in desperation

A raised eyebrow had him trudging back to the chair, sitting on it so loosely that it looked like he was poured onto it.

Emily gave her a supportive smile, "Jesús has been very good and I'm sure he'll continue to do so."

Jesús's melodramatic sigh was the last thing Callie and Lena heard as they left the office.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ms. Bradley seemed nice enough and the desk she was going to sit in was in a good place, next to the window. She must have been as big into projects as Mariana remembered, because they seemed to cover a lot of the classroom.

Lena hadn't told her, exactly, to meet in the office after seeing Ms. Bradley, and she had seen her brother with Brandon and Mariana on the playground from Ms. Bradley's window. It didn't take her long to decide that that was were she needed to be. Mariana had Jude in a swing and was twisting the chain so when released, Jude would spin in the swing. She giggled as she let him go, and Jude's matching giggle exploded over the playground. Brandon was stabbing the sand with a stick, watching them, a small smile on his face.

Callie found herself veering over to him, "thanks for rescuing Jude," she said bluntly, crouching next to him in the sand.

He looked at her, tilting his head to one side, "nobody in my family wants to see you guys hurt."

She bit her lip, "I'm gonna be nicer to your sister, I promise."

"Mama talked to you?" Brandon said, recognizing the tone.

"So?"

"When she talks to me like that, I get sorry for every bad thing I've ever done," said Brandon, shaking his head, "I almost wish she _would_ yell at me. I don't think I'd feel as guilty."

Callie studied the sand as it slipped to her fingers and made a noncommittal noise, then she brushed the remaining grains of sand on her pants and stood up. She walked over to where Mariana and Jude were playing. Jude spotted her first, but she was glad to see that his eyes only were a little worried, not terrified like before. She waited until Mariana turned to face her. "I'm sorry I made you upset," she began. "I knew saying those things would get you mad, that's why I said them."

Mariana scowled, one hand still twined around the chain of the swing, clearly not appeased by this apology, "you got my brother in trouble."

"He's only in a little trouble, I'm in bigger trouble," Callie said honestly.

Mariana looked at her, a little uncertain, then glanced down at Jude.

"Callie's a good big sister, Mariana," Jude said earnestly. "She'll be gooder to you now, I know it."

His faith in her made Callie really want to live up to it. She wanted to be the kind of big sister he could always count on.

Mariana remembered what her mothers had told her, what it was like to feel lost and scared. "Okay," she said, inwardly skeptical of any transformation on Callie's part. "Do you want to play with us?"

"I better go in," said Callie, looking back to the building, "I think Lena wants me back in the office."

"We should go too," said Brandon, tossing the stick to the side and standing up in one smooth motion.

Jude grabbed Callie's hand, then Mariana's as they headed back to the school.


	5. Inroads

_For my own amusement, I have been having little Callie mostly follow the same path of who she trusts and when, similar to teenage Callie. Partly because I think certain things resonate, there's a theory about alternate universes and that mirror imaging that I find a little irresistible. Also, because while teenage Callie was more likely to trust another teenager first, little Callie is unwilling to trust the moms too much because she equates it with a betrayal to her mom. Anyway, thanks for the favorite and follows but especially, thanks to those who take the time to review, I really appreciate it._

It had been a couple of weeks since they'd moved in with the Fosters. The days were kind of blending together for Callie, the routine both numbing and steadying her. She wasn't doing great in school, she spent more time often than not staring out the window, but that was okay. She didn't sleep well. She spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling at night, and Lena and Stef had been letting her take naps, no more than thirty minutes at a time, after school. This helped a little but she often felt tired and a little dazed.

Jude had days where he was almost completely silent. When she asked him about it, he had looked at her, his little face both incredibly old and incredibly young, "I'm having a miss Mommy day," he said, "I don't want to use all of my talk."

"What do you mean?" she had asked, but he had been unwilling or unable to explain.

The rest of the family had been surprisingly understanding. Mariana had mentioned that she had been pretty quiet, not that long ago and Jesús had cheerfully announced that he could talk enough for both of them. Stef said to give him time and Lena said people grieved differently, especially children. Grieved was a weird word, it was a serious word, more meaningful than sad, and sometimes Callie repeated to herself as she walked around: grieving, grief. They were words that carried weight.

Callie blinked as she looked up, then turned her head. The unfamiliar ceiling still caused her some confusion when she woke, and that initial spurt of adrenaline always made her wake up uncomfortably fast. She had been napping in the living room because she refused to do it in the bedroom. She rubbed her eyes, looking at the clock. In about ten more minutes, Lena would have woken her up anyway. She stayed in her prone position, examining the living room from this angle. It was a cheerful room, with soft colors and children's toys lined neatly against the wall. Anyone coming into the room would know that kids lived here. There were tons of pictures here, everyone in the family represented multiple times, all smiling, all happy, all utterly ignorant that bad things could happen, even to perfect families. Callie stretched, then hopped off the couch, unwilling to be alone with her thoughts a moment longer. She padded into the kitchen, seeing Lena working on her computer at the table.

"Hey slug-a-bug," Lena said gently, lowering the screen of the computer, "I was just about to wake you up. How was your nap?"

Callie shrugged, hanging back in the doorway.

"Would you like a little snack? Mariana and Jude already had one. You have a choice between apples and peanut butter, yogurt raisins, or string cheese."

"String cheese I guess."

"String cheese, please," Lena corrected.

"Please."

Lena went to the refrigerator and grabbed the cheese, "anything to drink?" she asked, turning her head to look at the little girl.

"No thank you."

Callie took the cheese from Lena, and wandered over to the back door, expecting to see the other children through the glass. They spent a lot of time outdoors. "Oh," she said softly, immediately spotting her brother.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Nothing!" Callie said, flattening herself against the door as if she could prevent Lena from seeing anything.

"It's not nothing, you sound very worried," said Lena as she walked over to her. "Is something wrong with Jude?"

"He's-they-," Callie stumbled over her words while Lena peered over her head.

"Sweetheart, he looks fine. He's just playing tea with Mariana."

Callie's mouth dropped open, "y-you know?"

"That they're playing tea? Of course. They're a little hard to miss." Lena grinned a little as she said this. Jude and Mariana were both decked out in what Mariana liked to call "fancy dresses". They were lacy and sparkly, and every inch a demonstration of ostentatious splendor.

"You _let_ them go out like that?" Callie's stunned surprise was rapidly turning to anger.

Lena backed away from the window and sat back down at the table so she didn't tower over the little girl, "yes," she said calmly. "My kids often play pretend."

Was she being deliberately stupid? "Jude's wearing a _dress_," Callie spat, jabbing at the air with her finger.

"Yes, that's okay in this house Callie," Lena's gaze didn't waiver.

"It's going to get him beat up!" Callie's voice got louder.

"Jude will not be hurt here Callie, he is safe. You both are."

"You're just like my mom!" said Callie wildly. "It doesn't matter that he's safe here. He's not safe everywhere and he's gotta stop doing it!"

Lena's eyes widened. This was the first time Callie had voluntarily mentioned her mother. "Callie," she began.

"No. You guys don't get it, probably because you're already freaks, but this is not okay. This is never gonna be okay. Don't you know what happened to Jude at the group home?"

"Callie, you need to lower your voice and you may not name-call, remember?" Lena sat up straight, communicating her seriousness.

Callie's brown eyes blazed wildly for a moment, she took a deep breath, then another. She was still angry but she wouldn't yell. "You guys don't understand. You aren't the ones that have had to protect Jude when he gets bullied at school. You aren't around when the other kids call him names."

Lena gestured for her to come closer. Callie took two tiny steps. Lena gestured again, so she took two more tiny steps. The older woman sighed and gave up. "I do know what it's like to be teased and threatened for being different. I even know what it's like to have to protect other people for being different. I had to protect my mom when people would say stuff about her for marrying my dad and I had to protect my dad when people would say stuff about him marrying my mom."

Some of Callie's anger died down, "you had to protect your parents? When you were a kid?"

Lena shrugged, "as much as a kid can protect her parents. I wouldn't let other people say bad stuff about them around me."

"What was wrong with your parents?"

"Nothing was wrong with my parents, it was the people around them that were wrong. They were upset because my mom is black and my dad is white," Lena said tilting her head and looking at Callie.

"Oh," Callie pulled at her lower lip unconsciously, rocking a little on her feet. "People made fun of them?"

"You could say that," Lena said. She had long ago refused to give her youthful tormenters the power to hurt her anymore, but she vividly remembered her child-self's unhappiness.

Callie's sigh lifted her small shoulders sharply and she gnawed at her lip. "I gotta look out for him," she said, "it's my job."

"You're a very good big sister," Lena said honestly. "I think you do a wonderful job at looking out for Jude."

Her brow furrowed, Callie looked at Lena, not fully able to trust her, but also wanting to believe. She shrugged.

Their moment was broken by a voice coming through the front door, "Mama?"

"In here Brandon," Lena called, giving Callie one last smile.

Brandon clomped noisily to the kitchen, throwing his glove casually on one of the chairs as he headed for the refrigerator, only bypassing it to give Lena a quick embrace.

"Uh-uh," Lena said, "wash your hands first, please."

"They're clean," Brandon argued, already heading for the sink.

"How was baseball practice?"

Brandon, sighed, heavily, leaning past the door to give Lena a look, "it's the same as always. I suck."

"Language, buddy," she warned him, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry. I stink at it." He grabbed some cheese and some juice and closed the refrigerator door, "can you please tell Mom I should quit?"

"No honey, once you make a commitment-"

"-I need to follow through, I know. I've heard the speech," his tone was resigned as he plopped into one of the chairs. "Mom should just be happy that she has Jesús, he's the one that's the jock."

"Mommy does not care if you play sports Brandon, you know that," Lena cupped his chin briefly.

Brandon pursed his lips and shrugged a little, but finally nodded under her unrelenting scrutiny, "okay."

Lena looked at the two children, "I want to got take a shower, I'm sticky from gardening. Can you look after the little kids for me please?"

"Sure," said Brandon, finishing off his orange juice.

Lena looked at Callie, "me?" the girl asked in surprise.

"Yes, between the two of you, I think you can handle it. I'll only be about fifteen minutes. Jesús should be home from practice soon," she reminded Brandon.

He nodded as Lena took the stairs quickly, inwardly thankful she was about to get fifteen minutes of total privacy, a rarity in her world, especially these days.

Callie leaned on the back of the chair and watched as Brandon wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist and took the glass over to the sink. He caught sight of his little sister and smiled. She followed his eyes and a scowl immediately formed on her face, "Stop laughing at him," she yelled, striding over to him rapidly and getting into his space.

Brandon looked at her, surprised, "I wasn't laughing at him. Look how happy Mariana is. She hasn't had someone besides Lexi to play tea with forever."

Callie's scowl deepened, her earlier uneasiness resurfacing, "she shouldn't have let him do that. He's just a little kid. He doesn't know any better."

"What's the problem?" Brandon looked out the window, "the dresses?"

Callie didn't acknowledge the question.

"Look at how much fun he's having. I don't think I've seen him smile so much since he's been here," Brandon said, pointing.

Callie looked at her brother longingly, then pressed her fingers to the corners of her eyes. She felt exhausted by her worry and even Lena's earlier words didn't completely erase it, especially since she knew they wouldn't be here forever. "I just want him to be safe," she mumbled.

"He is," Brandon said, reaching out to give her a friendly nudge.

She looked at him tensely for a moment, envying his surety. That security seemed a lifetime away for her.

Brandon looked at her, trying rapidly to think of a way to reassure her, then walked to the door and opened it, "Hey Mariana!" he yelled.

"You can't play Brandon!" Mariana yelled back sassily, sparing him a giggly, yet superior look, "just me and Jude are playing!"

"Like I'd want to," Brandon said in a whispered aside to Callie, "last time she made me play she had to bribe me with all the Twix candy bars from her Halloween candy."

Callie felt a smile pulling deep inside her, so she frowned instead to cover it up. "So?"

Brandon ignored her, turning back to the door, "You know a tea party isn't really a tea party without cookies," he called to his little sister.

Mariana looked up, intrigued. "We don't have any cookies," she yelled back.

"Yes we do, Mom picked up some milk on the way home, and I just know she bought some cookies."

"Really?" the hopeful look in his sister's eyes was unmistakable.

"Cookies?" repeated Jude eagerly. He'd been watching the siblings' conversation like it was a particularly interesting tennis match.

"I'll get 'em," Brandon promised. He closed the door and looked around the kitchen with a speculative look. He began pacing about, pulling what seemed to be random pots out of drawers, and even turning the box of cereal to the side to peer inside.

"What are you doing?" asked Callie, her curiosity finally too great to be denied.

"Moms don't buy cookies very much," he informed her. "They don't like us eating a lot of junk food."

"I've noticed," Callie muttered.

"So when they buy cookies, they hide them. It's up to us to find them, then eat them."

"Won't your moms get mad?" Callie asked, trying to sound as if she didn't care.

"Nah," said Brandon, "they expect it." He turned around in the kitchen, his shoes squeaking lightly on the linoleum. "Hmm, Mama was the one who probably hid them," he murmured. He closed his eyes and his body became more stiff…regal. "Let's see, where would an overworked vice-principal with unreasonable views on kids and sugar hide them?"

This time Callie couldn't stifle a smile. She quickly covered it with her hand. She was glad Brandon had his eyes closed. When she thought her voice would be under control, she spoke up. "Hey genius, if I were as tall as your mom is, I'd probably put it up high."

Brandon opened his eyes and looked at the cupboard she was looking at. "Good idea!" He grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the highest cupboard. Unfortunately, even standing on his tiptoes, he was unable to reach the top.

"You better be careful," Callie warned him, hoping she sounded like she wasn't interested in his theatrics.

Brandon frowned in disappointment. "She's tricky. She knew even standing on the chair, I wouldn't reach. Not for a while yet anyway," he sighed and looked down as Callie. "Hey," suddenly he brightened.

"What?" Automatically distrustful, Callie backtracked a few steps.

"I know what we can do, you can sit on my shoulders. That way we'll just be able to reach."

"No way. You can't even hold me. You're scrawny," Callie folded her arms to emphasize her position.

"I'm not scrawny," protested Brandon, mildly offended.

"Yes you are," said Callie, "I could tie a string around your neck and fly you like a kite."

Deciding to ignore that particular mental image, he tried another tack, "c'mon Callie," Brandon begged, "we gotta at least try. Would you really deny your brother cookies?"

Callie heaved an enormous sigh. "Fine," she said. She boosted herself on the table as Brandon jumped down from the chair and moved to crouch down in front of her. She put her legs over his shoulders as he struggled to rise. "You better not drop me," she warned him.

"I won't," he said, inwardly worried he was going to do just that.

"Okay, we better go fast," said Callie as they stumbled over to the cupboard, "your face is turning a weird red color." She opened the cupboard doors and sure enough, there was a small box of cookies.

"You got 'em?" panted Brandon, leaning against the wall for support.

"Yeah," said Callie holding the bag tightly, "let me down."

Brandon shook his head. "No, you have to take the cookies and leave the bag. That's part of the fun."

"What?" Callie waved her hands, absently whacking Brandon's head with the bag.

"Just leave one in there, then they'll have to share," he managed a strained but credible evil chuckle.

"Brandon-"

"Alright, two, but be quick or I really am going to drop you."

Callie made a basket out of her t-shirt and put all but two cookies there, then put the bag back, rolling the top carefully to make it looked undisturbed.

"Ok."

Brandon walked unsteadily across the floor to drop her onto the table. He rubbed his neck ruefully, the reached for one of the cookies only to have it sharply slapped by Callie. "Hey!"

"I thought we were giving them to Jude and Mariana?" she said suspiciously.

"Well, yeah but we can have at least one, right? And we need to leave a couple for Jesús, otherwise he'll get mad."

Callie handed one to Brandon, then took one for herself. They bit into their cookies at almost the same time. Callie let the sweetness of the cookie play on her tongue for a moment.

"They're good, right?" asked Brandon, looking at her.

"Uh-huh," she mumbled.

"Let's take them out to the little kids," said Brandon.

They waked into the yard and over to the small table where Jude and Mariana sat. Callie was impressed with the set up. The table cloth was lacy and white, and the tea set was a delicate, blue willow pattern set that included a pitcher and sugar bowl as well as the tradition plates and cups. She began taking the cookies out of her shirt and placing them on the larger plate in the middle of the two children.

"Ooh, cookies," said Jude, reaching for them.

"No," said Callie softly, then off Jude's surprise, "you must be served, of course." She extended the plate to Mariana, "Princess Mariana," she said, then turned to Jude, "Prince Jude," she said with the barest hesitation.

"Can a prince wear a dress too?" asked Jude, reaching for his own cookies.

"Why not?" shrugged Brandon before Callie could say anything.

"Why don't you tell him about the time you wore a purple tutu?" asked Mariana with a giggle.

Callie's surprise showed in her face, as she looked at Brandon.

"I lost a bet," he informed her. "The loser had to play tea with Mariana and she got to boss me around, something she loves to do," he said, gesturing to his sister. Then he looked at Jude, "I'd highly recommend staying away from anything with netting," he advised.

"Okay," said Jude cheerfully.

"Save some for Jesús," Brandon reminded his sister.

"Yeah," Mariana grinned, "guess we won again," she said to him. "We are the expert cookie thieves."

"So what's this cookie thing?" asked Callie, picking up the teacup to examine it.

"It's just a game Mom started. Whoever finds the cookies first gets to eat them, and nobody can whine about it, otherwise we don't get to play anymore," said Brandon.

"Yeah, Brandon almost ruined it one year," said Mariana, sticking out her tongue at him.

"Did not," Brandon denied.

"Uh-huh. You were just mad because Mommy caught you right before you put the cookie in your mouth."

"She was just rubbing it in," Brandon grumbled, pouting.

"What'd he do?" asked Jude.

"He licked like, half the cookies before Mommy could grab them," Mariana said.

"What'd _she_ do?" asked Callie. Stef still kind of scared her. It was weird, she'd never been afraid of cops before. She believed what her mom and teachers had told her, that cops were her friends and she could trust them to protect her. But that was before her dad had been put into jail. She didn't care what anyone said. Her dad wasn't a bad man. He shouldn't be in jail. If cops put him there, then they were the ones who were wrong. _They_ were the ones who did something bad.

"Oh, she laughed and said, 'you think I'm afraid of _your_ spit?'" Mariana said.

Brandon grinned sheepishly, "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Callie felt another smile try to curl at her mouth then pushed it away as a sudden longing tugged at her heart. They had family stories and family traditions and silly games that they shared. She wanted that back.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

That night as the family was relaxing after dinner, Stef, with a big smile on her face, walked to the cupboard. "Okay everybody, we have a treat tonight. Who wants-" she lifted the bag down and frowned, shaking the bag a little. She opened it, already knowing what she would find. "Alright," she demanded in mock irritation, "who stole the cookies?" When the rest of the kids began laughing, Callie didn't feel guilty when she smiled too.


	6. Little Talks

_ Thanks again for the reviews. I really appreciate those who've taken the time to write such thoughtful comments._

"I just don't understand it," Lena said, "I really don't. It's like they're trying to come up with a valid excuse, but they can't so they're shoving this nonsense at us."

"I don't know what to tell you, Lena. When I talked to Bill today, he said his supervisor absolutely forbids us taking Jude and Callie to Oregon with us." Stef's irritation wasn't leveled at her partner, but her disgust at the situation was clearly in evidence.

"I didn't even begin to make contingency plans for this," said Lena, propping her chin on her fist, "we took the twins all the way up to Washington before they were adopted. I never thought DCFS would stop us from taking a four day trip to Ashland."

Stef ran her hands through her hair, "well, maybe it's better this way. Taking a road trip, a long road trip, with five kids was going to be tough. Now we don't have to deal with that."

"We promised Brandon we'd both be there, you know how much it means to him," Lena said.

"He's getting to be older, Lena. He knows things don't always work out. He can deal with it," said Stef.

Lena sighed, looking at her lover fondly, "that's a lot to expect from him, honey, especially for someone his age. This is really going to disappoint him. Do you really think he's just going to shrug it off?"

"I know he's not. But look at what Callie and Jude have had to deal with. There's a lot of things that aren't fair. He'll be disappointed, he'll be upset, but he'll deal. One of us will still be there for him."

Oh, this was not going to go well, Lena decided. She gnawed at her lower lip, trying to think of how to word her next request.

Stef saw through her in an instant, "I'll be diplomatic about it," she defended herself, "but he doesn't get to be all whiny with me."

"Uh-huh," said Lena. Stef and Brandon, while they shared many lovely traits, had the unlovely one of digging in their heels when they thought they were right.

A snort of laughter came from her partner, "thanks for the vote of confidence sweetheart." She went around the end of the table and put her arms around her partner, laying her chin on her shoulder. "So, who gets to attend the music competition with our eldest?"

"He really loves when you attend his concerts, he gets so excited," Lena said, leaning back as she spoke.

"Yeah, but last time you had to miss when Mariana and Jesús got sick. That's why he extracted the blood oath that we would both attend in the first place," Stef reminded her.

"Yes, but if the other-"

Lena broke of when they heard the individual in question, "Moms? Moms?"

"In here Brandon," called Lena, telegraphing her worry to Stef immediately as they unlatched and stood next to one another.

"Hi baby. Did you thank Amy's mom for dropping you off?" asked Stef as soon as their son appeared in the kitchen.

"Yes. But please don't make me do that again," begged Brandon. "I had to sit with five girls all the way from Mrs. Porter's rehearsal. They were playing this game with a fortune teller and they kept looking at me and giggling a lot. It was really annoying!" he declared dramatically as he threw himself across the table.

"Off the table please," said Lena with a little nudge. "How did the rehearsal go?"

Brandon's smile was bright, "I finally got that minor arpeggio that's been bugging me right, not just technically right, but _creatively_ right. That's was Miss Porter said. She was really proud of me, I know because she actually winked at me!" Brandon had not lost his little-kid awe of Miss Porter. An avowed supporter of the Porter fan club, he was determined that she would be his piano teacher for all time.

"That's great love," said Stef at the same time as Lena said "good job, honey." They looked at one another, Stef inwardly sighing at the bad news she was about to deliver. "Brandon, Mama and I have to talk to you a minute, sit down."

Instantly concerned, Brandon's whole body went rigid. "What's wrong?"

"It isn't about anything you did, and everyone is fine," Lena put it quickly before the little gears in his head worked into overdrive.

"You know how proud Mama and I are of how hard you work," Stef began. "You have put in so much effort and discipline in playing the piano and we are amazed, every day, at how good you are."

"Thank you," said Brandon automatically, but with a worried frown still plastered to his forehead. He reached for a stool and sat somewhat stiffly.

Stef took a deep breath, "unfortunately, we got some bad news today and it looks like only one of us can go to competition with you next week."

Brandon's gaze switched back and forth, "but…why? What happened? Why can't both of you go?"

"It's complicated," said Lena swiftly. Neither she, nor Stef wanted to tell him it involved Callie and Jude, afraid it would unbalance the timid friendship they could see growing between Callie and Brandon.

"What's complicated about it all of a sudden?" asked Brandon.

"It really doesn't matter, B. What matters is that one of us will be there, but the other can't."

"How can it not matter? You both promised you'd be at this competition, you _promised_." His voice didn't get louder, but there was a stridency that wasn't there before.

Stef rubbed her forehead, "Sometimes things happen, even when people promise, and then things change. Both of us want to be there B, we really do."

"If it's that big a deal that you can't come, then you should tell me. I'm not a little kid," Brandon demanded.

Stef and Lena exchanged another glance, and Lena sighed, "DCFS says that we can't take Callie and Jude with us to Oregon. It's out of state and they don't want them going."

"But we took Mariana and Jesús on a bunch of trips and there wasn't any problem," said Brandon. "Why is it a problem for Callie and Jude?"

"We really don't know buddy, it just is. Since DCFS is in charge, we have to follow their rules, whether we like or understand them or not," said Stef.

"Can't Grams and Gramps or Grandma or Grandpa take care of them?" he said finally.

Lena shook her head, as frustrated as he, "they let their status lapse after we adopted the twins. They'd have to reregister, get fingerprinted, go through the whole thing to get recertified. We just don't have enough time for that."

Brandon frowned.

"Look," said Stef, "let's focus on what we can do. We have to decide who goes with you. Both Mama and I would love to go so we're having a hard time deciding."

An unreadable look passed over Brandon's face as his lips thinned. "If you both can't come, I don't want to go."

"Brandon, c'mon, don't start that. Either Mama or I will go with you. Maybe we can even get Daddy, even if its short notice," Stef said.

"I don't want to go." Brandon's voice was flat. "If you take me to Oregon, I won't play for the competition…and you can't make me."

Lena looked worriedly at Stef, knowing that particular phrase instigated instant irritation. Sure enough, color rose to Stef's cheeks, suffusing them with red, "listen to me, young man. Let's not get into an argument about what I can and can't make you do. You need to watch what you say to me."

"I was just telling you what was going to happen!" argued Brandon.

"Well, being as you're the child in this relationship, you actually don't get to tell us what's going to happen," Stef retorted, her voice going up an octave.

"Okay, let's take a moment to take a breath here," Lena interrupted, holding up her hands like a referee. "Brandon, your tone isn't okay, that's what Mommy was referring to. We understand that you're upset but you need to be polite."

"My tone _wasn't_ rude," he murmured rebelliously, then subsided at the look Stef gave him.

"Now, Brandon, you've been working really hard for this competition, you've been looking forward to it for months. Why would you decide not to play? If you're trying to make Mommy and me feel badly, we already do. We're very upset about it too, even if it doesn't seem like it. We just want to focus on the things we _can_ do right now."

Shame colored Brandon's face, "I'm not trying to make you feel bad," he mumbled into his lap, "I just don't want to do the competition anymore."

"That's ridiculous Brandon," Stef said. "It cost $220 to enter, not to mention the hours of practice you've put in."

Brandon looked at his mom, "then I'll pay you back the $220 dollars," he snapped back, "but I'm not going!"

"Fine," said Stef in irritation. "You're the one whose going to be disappointed later on," her heart ached a little, knowing how important the competition was to him.

"Fine," said Brandon, standing up so swiftly he knocked over his chair. "And maybe stupid DCFS could stop messing up our lives!" He stomped up the stairs.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Callie stood stock-still in the living room. She had come in from the front yard where she had been drawing with chalk with Mariana and Jude. She hadn't heard the whole conversation, only the last part about disappointment and DSHS. Her heart sank. For a moment, her eyes filled with tears, then she hardened her heart, pretending it hadn't been stabbed by this betrayal. Brandon had been-she thought he was her _friend_. He'd been nice to her and more importantly, he'd been nice to Jude. But he was a liar, like everyone else. She couldn't trust him, it had been stupid of her to ever think she could. She rubbed at her eyes and glared at the stairs, oh she was going to get him back for betraying her. He was going to be sorry.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Brandon sulked through dinner prompting Stef to sharply tell him he needed to shape up or spend the rest of the night in his room, which at this point he seemed perfectly willing to do. Instead, she sent him to take a shower early, hoping this would give him a chance to calm down (and her too) so they could talk more that night.

Callie instantly saw her opportunity. She stretched casually out on the floor of the living room and told Jude she was going to get a puzzle from upstairs for them to do. He nodded eagerly as he colored a small rabbit in the giant coloring book he and Mariana were sharing. Jesús was watching some cartoon, one Callie didn't recognize, and he didn't even notice she left. A quick peek in the kitchen showed the moms seated at the table, talking quietly while…holding hands and kissing. That still seemed strange to Callie, but she had kinda gotten used to it.

She crept stealthily up the stairs, passing the bathroom where she could hear the shower running. She went into Brandon's room and headed immediately for the alcove where his piano and music resided. She touched the keys of the piano interestedly. It'd be fun to try it. Her mother had been teaching her guitar for little over a year and Callie really liked it. She wasn't sure whether it had been the guitar, the music it produced, or just the chance to have her mother teach her something. A sudden sob rose in her throat and she leaned against the wall, feeling suddenly weak. When she closed her eyes, she could see the last time she and her mother had a lesson. They were sitting on her bed and her mother's hair had spilled over her shoulder. Callie's been trying to get a chord /_which chord?/_ and her smaller fingers couldn't quite reach the right strings. She'd been getting more and more frustrated, and finally her mom had started making the sound the guitar was making, a particularly unmusical sound that suddenly struck Callie as hilarious. She began giggling and so did her mom. She laughed so hard that she leaned against her mother, sides aching, and her mom had cuddled her and kissed the top of her head. She had felt so loved, so happy. It had been a moment of what she now recognized was almost perfect happiness. Two tears bled slowly down her face and several more followed until she took a shuddery breath to regain control and focused again on her anger. That was infinitely better than the sorrow that was nearly suffocating her. Her hands clenched suddenly on the sheet music on the piano and in a quick motion, she had ripped it in half. That didn't feel like enough, so she ripped it again…and again. Blindly her hands found more music and she shredded that as well. The motion, the destruction felt /_familiar_/ good and she didn't stop. Sheet after sheet was destroyed, some with handwritten notes, until confetti littered the floor. She didn't stop until she heard a choked sound from the doorway. She turned and saw Brandon, with damp hair and dressed in pajamas. His mouth had dropped, but was twisted with what she instantly recognized as distress. They looked at one another, the furious energy that had driven Callie, dying down as she recognized the pain in his eyes. A sense of remorse crept rapidly though her body.

"Why did you do this?" croaked Brandon. "I haven't-I didn't…it's my _music_ Callie. Why?"

Callie's hands fell open and a final piece of sheet music fluttered to the ground. She just shook her head.

This seemed to undo Brandon. "Moms! Mo-oms!"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The last two days…had not gone well. After his initial reaction, Brandon had gone nearly completely silent, at least with Callie. He would speak to her when addressed, or asking her to pass something at the dinner table, but his speech was oddly clipped and formal. Jesús, who could feel the tension in the room as well as anyone, blithely remarked that Brandon sounded like a robot. In response, Brandon had said _he_ sounded like a jerk. Jesús who wasn't expecting to be verbally attacked and was oddly vulnerable that day, shoved Brandon in retaliation. Both boys were sent to their rooms to calm down but the weird, virulent mood had pervaded the household. Mariana was clingy but also glared often at Callie, blaming her for her brothers' bad moods. Jude was silent, his face puckered and worried, then had a tantrum at dinner when the menu was changed due to a lack of supplies. Brandon was also still clearly upset about the piano competition so he was sulky with his mothers. All in all, Lena was grateful when Friday afternoon rolled around, hoping some fun family activities would brighten things up. After conferring, they had grounded Callie until Sunday and told her she would need to replace the music sheets with her allowance. The original work Brandon had been writing was lost, but Lena was encouraged by the notes that came from his bedroom, indicating that the original composition had not been forgotten. She watched the children through the window as they played in the backyard. Mariana and Jude were playing some sort of pretend game. Jesús was trying to build something out of scrap wood. Callie was hovering near these activities, not quite joining in, but once and awhile offering a quiet bit of advice or opinion. This was received with varying degrees of enthusiasm but nobody was shunning her. Brandon was the one who was by himself, reading a new book with intense concentration. Lena sighed and turned back to the table. She had a little more work to do, then she'd begin making dinner. She wanted it to be fun, so she'd need a little extra time.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Brandon sighed and slammed his book shut. He'd been reading the same page over and over again. it was useless, his heart wasn't in it. He stretched and looked at his siblings. When Callie met his eyes, he looked away. He felt trapped in their yard, as big as it was. He headed for the gate, needing to leave.

"Brandon, where are you going?" Mariana called immediately.

"Out," he responded, hand on the latch of the gate.

"Better not. You're s'pposed to ask Mama," said Jesús, who had been alerted by his sister's tone.

"I'm just going to go around the block, geez you guys. We do that all the time."

"But-" began Mariana.

"If Mama asks tell her I'll be back in a little bit," said Brandon, passing through the gate and shutting it firmly.

Jesús shook his head and went back to hammering two pieces of plywood together. Mariana looked at the gate, then towards the kitchen, biting her lip. Jude tugged on her arm, "c'mon Mariana, let's keep playing."

Mariana sighed, then looked at Jude, "okay, this time you get to ride the horse."

"Yay!" Jude said, heading over to the battered chair that was serving as their noble steed.

Callie looked at the other kids, then the gate. Unnoticed, she followed Brandon out.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It felt good to be out of the house, out of the yard. Brandon's sneakers thudded pleasantly on the pavement. He crossed several streets before realizing that his feet were leading him to a small forested area that he had mostly only seen from the backseat of the car. It was the laughter that drew him past bushes and around a large tree. There were three big kids, around thirteen or fourteen crowded around something. Brandon couldn't tell what it was, but he noticed immediately that they all had air rifles. He was a little envious. There was no way his moms would let him have a BB gun. His mom had taken him to a shooting range, as had his dad, but they didn't want him playing with anything gun-like that didn't have "water" or "Nerf" in the title. He walked a little closer.

"Oh, man, look at it, it's still moving," said one with a blue baseball cap, with an amazed grin.

"Let's shoot it again!" said another that had a short, military type buzz cut.

Brandon frowned, they were shooting something that _moved_? He walked to the ring of boys, then gulped. There was a gray tabby cat laying on it's side, moving weakly, blood glistening on it's fur. "What're you doing!" he yelled, shoving the nearest teenager.

"What the hell, you little prick?" said the third boy, sporting a glistening nose ring.

"What are you doing!" shouted Brandon, "that's a cat! You can't just shoot a cat."

"We can do whatever we want, you little shit. It's just a fuckin' stray cat," said Buzz Cut, leaning over the smaller boy menacingly. "We found it and we hunted it!"

"So, what, you think you're big game hunters or something? Assholes," Brandon spat this at them in disgust.

"Maybe we should hunt you," said Baseball Hat, shoving Brandon down to the ground, the other two towering over him as well.

_Uh-oh_, this could be painful. Brandon looked around for an escape route but was already halfway resigned to getting beat up.

"Don't you touch him," the voice was familiar and deadly serious. Brandon looked up and over.

"What the fuck is this?" said Nose Ring, gripping his BB gun.

"Aw, it's just some little bitch," said Baseball Cap. "Big fucking deal." He grabbed the collar of Brandon's shirt, half-choking him as he dragged him closer. He yelped suddenly as a fist-sized rock it his bicep with extreme force.

"I told you not to touch him!" Callie said. "You leave him alone!"

"That little bitch just threw a rock at me," he told his friends, amazed.

Buzz Cut moved towards her, waving his BB gun with dark intent. She threw another rock, hitting him in the stomach and knocking the air out of him. "You bitch," he gasped when he finally regained his breath, "maybe we'll shoot you instead."

"With a bb gun?" scoffed Callie, already armed and holding another rock threateningly. "I have a better chance of killing you if I throw this at your head hard enough."

Nose Ring boy scoffed, but Baseball Cap boy looked nervous as he rubbed his shoulder. It felt like the girl had dislocated something. Buzz Cut looked at his friends for advice.

"I'll start screaming," Callie warned them, capitalizing on their uncertainty, "they'll find you guys and you'll be in big trouble."

Baseball Cap boy shuffled his feet a little, "c'mon you guys. Let's just go. I don't want nobody to find out."

"Whatever," Nose Ring boy said. "The thing is dead anyway. Let's get outta here."

The three teenagers left, swaggering and trying to look nonchalant. Callie ran over to where Brandon still kneeled in the grass. "Are you okay?" she asked anxiously, touching his shoulder.

Brandon blinked at her. "Yeah…yeah, I am." She offered a hand and helped to pull him up. "Thanks for rescuing me from those kids," he said seriously, running his hands across his jeans to try to wipe off the dust.

Callie shrugged, eyes sliding to the side, "It's ok. No big deal."

"No, it was really cool," said Brandon. "You scared them. You're really good at throwing rocks too! I think you broke that one kid's arm!"

A little smile appeared on Callie's mouth, but she shrugged again. "What were they doing?"

He grabbed her hand without thinking and lead her over to the cat. "They're hurting the cat," he said sadly, kneeling down to stroke it's fur.

"Oh," Callie said.

He looked at her, bright, blue eyes on her face, "You stay with it Callie, I'm gonna run and get Mama. She can take it to the vet."

"No, Brandon," Callie clung to his hand, holding him from going any further. "It's dying, we can't do anything for it."

"You don't know that, Callie," argued Brandon. "We need to help it."

"I do know," she said quietly, "he's dying. There's nothing we can do for him." She gave his hand a squeeze and let it go to kneel down beside him. "Poor kitty," she said, petting the blood stained fur.

The cat mewed a little, legs moving spastically. The children watched quietly, petting the dying animal, their hands meeting once and awhile, until the cat stopped moving.

Callie sighed as Brandon leaned back on his heels. Callie felt tears very near the surface so she forced a cough to force them away.

"We should bury it," said Brandon, squinting into the wood covered thicket.

"Why?" said Callie, trying to sound tough and ignore the way her hear was beating faster, "at least this way it can actually still be useful, feed something that is going to live."

Brandon looked at her, unable to unravel the complicated emotions flitting across her face. "My brother had a cat. He ran off or got stolen or something, we don't know. I hope if Puddy died that someone nice buried him. Someone who maybe loved cats and knew that he was a good kitty."

Callie watched silently as Brandon used a large stone to scrape away the earth. Her shoulders dropped as she grabbed a similar stone and copied his motions. It was she who tenderly lifted the cat and placed it in the hole. They rapidly refilled the hole, Callie mesmerized by the upturned earth. She sifted her hands through the dirt, the sound of the preacher's voice echoing in her head. She pressed her hands to her ears, as if that would keep the words out.

"Callie?" whispered Brandon.

She dropped her hands to look at him. "It's okay."

Brandon piled some rocks neatly on the fresh packed dirt as Callie watched. The grove became darker as they sat quietly.

"I'm sorry about the music," Callie said presently. "I was mad because I thought you blamed Jude and me about the competition."

"I didn't!" said Brandon quickly. "It's stupid DCFS I blame."

"Yeah, I figured that out later. So I'm sorry. It was a really mean thing to do."

"It was mean," said Brandon, "but I know why you felt so bad about it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They were silent again. "You shouldn't be bad to your moms," Callie said, fiddling with her necklace as she didn't quite look at him.

"What?" Brandon asked.

"You've been being mean to your moms the last couple days. You should stop. They're your moms."

"I haven't been mean to my moms," Brandon said, a flush starting up from his neck and rising to his face.

Callie just looked at him.

"I'm just a little mad at them right now," he tried to explain, "but that's okay Callie. Sometimes you get mad at people you love. It's not like you've always been nice to them."

Callie shook her head, "they're your moms. Someday you might be sorry about all the times you were mad at them. Someday you might be sorry when you were bad to them and didn't apologize."

Her words were filled with a weight that he could recognize, even if he didn't understand. "Okay," he said softly, "I'll remember."

"Good," said Callie, looking at the brilliant array of pinks and purples that decorated the sky.

He looked at his dirt-encrusted fingernails, "they wanted me to choose who went with me. I can't do that. I don't want to choose between them. Mom loves the music 'cause I love it and Mama _gets_ the music, every time. I couldn't do it."

"You should tell them that. They'd probably understnad that. I mean…they seem like they'd get it. They seem…like good moms."

"Yeah. They are," Brandon tilted his neck back to look at the sky. "Oh crap. It's getting dark. We gotta get home. Moms are going to kill me!" He stood up quickly. "C'mon."

They began running, taking a side street for a short cut. A short horn blast made both of them turn. Brandon paled visibly. Stef opened the door to her car and slammed it as she headed towards them. "Where the hell have you two been?" Stef said. "Mama called me, frantic, saying you weren't in the backyard where you were supposed to be. The twins said you went for a walk. Since when do you go for a walk without asking permission!" Stef managed this speech on the short march if took to stand in front of them. Her eyes scanned them frantically, looking for visible wounds.

"I just, I wanted to-" Brandon stumbled over his words.

Stef chopped her hand down sharply, totally contradicting her first command, "I don't want to hear it. Get in the car. Now." Her touch was more gentle than her tone as she herded them to the car and opened the back seat door.

The children were silent as they got in the car and buckled their seat belts. Stef took deep breaths. Something had gone on, she could see it in their eyes. She quickly called Lena and Mike to let him know the kids had been found. She turned to look at them, slumped in the back seat. "What were you thinking?"

"I was just going out," said Brandon. "I just wanted to walk, I was gonna be home for dinner, I swear."

"You are not allowed to be running around for two hours without telling us where you're going, Brandon," Stef said, thoroughly exasperated.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Callie didn't say anything, worrying her thumbnail with her teeth.

"Sorry," Stef shook her head and put the car in gear. The children stayed quiet, although they stole several glances at one another. Callie was nervous. This was not good. On top of the music sheet destruction, this was really not good. What would Stef do to them?

When they pulled into the driveway, Stef indicated that they should join her on the steps as they got out of the car. Callie was a little relieved it was the front yard. That was good, right? There were witnesses. Brandon, on the other hand, was eager to avoid other eyes seeing his humiliation and immediately began looking at the front door, hoping Lena would swoop in and save him. The children sat on a lower step, while Stef chose one that was a step higher.

"What happened with you two?" said Stef, looking them over again with a discerning eye.

"Just a walk," said Brandon, mostly to his hands.

"Why do you have grass stains on your pants?" Stef asked.

Brandon looked further down. "I was digging a hole and kneeled on the grass," he said honestly, stopping at any further explanation.

"I see," said Stef. "What else happened?"

"Nothing," said Brandon as Callie shrugged.

"That's what you're going with?" demanded Stef, sighing as she began unpinning her hair from it's work bun. "You sure that's what you want to stick with?"

"For now," said Callie quietly, surprising Stef.

The little girl and Brandon shared a look, "for now," said Brandon with a nod.

"Fine. We'll table that for a moment. Let's talk about your decision to leave the house without permission. I'm glad that you two were together, at least that's safer," Stef began, "but you always, always need to let us know where you're going. There are too many things that can happen to kids out on their own, especially if people don't know they're missing right away."

Both kids nodded.

She pulled Brandon by his hand until he was standing between her legs, "I'm not happy with you right now, Brandon. You've been sulking and pouting and I'm thinking you took off as some sort of payback for the music competition."

"I wasn't!" said Brandon, a little stung, "I just wanted some time to myself."

"Then why didn't you ask Mama if you could take a walk around the block?" said Stef, pinning him with a look.

He squirmed a little as he shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I didn't want to have to ask," he said.

"You understand that's a really bad excuse," said Stef, tilting his chin to look at her.

"Yeah," he admitted, "I just heard myself saying it and it sounded pretty dumb."

"Well, at least you can recognize how dumb it was," Stef sighed. "That's the first step, I guess."

"I really am sorry Mom."

"Yeah, well, you'll be sorrier this week when you're stuck in the house, pining, wondering why you didn't listen to your older and much wiser mothers."

This got a faint grin from her son, as Callie looked on quizzically and she shook her head. "Go take a shower and put on your pjs. Dinner, then early bed tonight."

"Okay."

He tried to move in the direction of the front door but she hadn't let go of his arm, "Go give Mama some kisses. She was really worried." He nodded and this time she let him go with a swat, which Callie deduced from Brandon's wince was not gentle.

Stef watched her son go into the house, then looked at the little girl who's expression was more lost then defiant. "You haven't been here that long, but I would presume from your expression that you knew this wasn't ok."

Callie nodded.

"So why did you do it?" Stef said. Her voice wasn't gentle, but the directness was reassuring in it's authenticity.

"I just wanted to talk to Brandon," Callie mumbled. "He was mad at me and he wouldn't let me say sorry and I am."

"Hm," said Stef. The child's face was drawn, etched with a pain that was hard to see on a face so young.

Callie rubbed her forehead, the emotions of the day catching up with her, "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice coming out in a squeak. "I didn't mean to do anything bad, not really." Her gaze was a little lost, part of her focused on Stef, and part of her, somewhere else.

"I appreciate the apology, but Callie, you have to understand that it's very important to Lena and me that you're safe. We care about you and we don't want to see you get hurt."

Callie took a deep, shuddery breath, so close to tears that she felt like she was going to vomit.

"You-you shouldn't. I don't want-" she took another breath and despite her best efforts, tears inched down her face, she wiped at them furiously. "Oh no," she said, looking at her hands in dismay. "I can't, I can't, I can't-"

"Callie, baby, said Stef gently, scooting down to the step next to her, "it's okay for you to cry. It's alright baby." She put her arm around the girl's shoulders.

"No, no, no," said Callie frantically as the tears came faster, "no, no, no." She struggled to get out of Stef's grip.

In a quick decision, praying it was the right one, Stef lifted the little girl and held her on her lap, wrapped her arms around her, and muttered loving words into her ear as deep sobs shook the child's body. After awhile, the storm stopped, and Stef was left with a limp child, face damp, looking at her tiredly with drooping brown eyes.

"It's okay love," said Stef soothingly. "It's okay for you to be sad and cry. It's okay for you to feel all sorts of things. You don't have to hide. It's okay. We're here for you, we've got you." She continued this soothing patter until Callie seemed to be more under control and slowly relinquished her grip. Stef kissed her head and Callie closed her eyes for a moment.

"Sorry," Callie finally muttered as she scooted off Stef's lap, feeling both embarrassed and comforted.

"If you're apologizing for crying, don't," said Stef. "You don't have to be tough all the time. You don't have to be afraid that's something going to happen if you…show emotion."

"Okay," said Callie, still uncomfortable but also feeling that spark, that warmth again.

"Okay," said Stef. They sat there quietly for another five minutes until Callie's breathing completely leveled and she was looking more calm. Stef gave her a firm look, "I want you to apologize to Lena. She was very, very worried about you too."

Callie studied Stef's face, the truth was as evident there as in her tone. "You want me to give Lena kisses too?" she asked, echoing Stef's earlier words to Brandon.

"She would love that," said Stef seriously, "and she is the one who makes most of our food. Never hurts to suck up." Callie covered her smile but it got bigger than her hand. She saw Stef smile back and she nodded. When she went inside the house, she noticed how still it was. Figuring Lena would be in the kitchen, she headed there first. She stopped in the archway. Brandon was standing next to Lena, wrapped tightly in a hug. Her cheek was pressed against his hair and she was saying something that he was nodding about. Lena saw her before she could creep back out of the kitchen. "Hi Callie." She gave Brandon a kiss on the head, "Go take a shower baby," she said.

Brandon stood on tiptoes to kiss her cheek. "Sorry Mama," he said, turning to go up the stairs.

Callie moved awkwardly into the kitchen. Lena noted her puffy eyes and nose, "I'm sorry too," said Callie, "I didn't meant to worry you or Stef."

Lena cupped her chin, looking at her seriously, "you are too important to us to take a chance like that Callie. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," said Callie and more to her surprise, she was beginning to believe it.


	7. Road Trips and Remembrances

Lena's head lay on Stef's stomach as she tapped notes quickly into her palm pilot. "Okay, so we're still on for the performance. Sanchez gave me the two days and everything I needed to get done is done."

"That's good," mumbled Stef, holding her book and angling towards the light.

"Stef."

"What?"

"We still need to decide how we're going to divide the kids."

"You could just take B," shrugged Stef, "he'd probably love some Mama time."

"And leave you with the other four?" Lena's tone was incredulous, "we still barely know Jude and Callie. Their behavior is unpredictable and they need to be closely monitored."

"Alright, alright. How do you want to do it?" Stef closed her book on her finger to mark her place and lay it beside her.

"How do you want to do it?" insisted Lena.

"Seriously, honey?"

They looked at one another, Lena slightly cross-eyed from looking upside-down.

"I think you should take Mariana."

"I think I should take Jesús," they said simultaneously.

"What?" they said again. Lena rolled over on her stomach as Stef rolled on her side.

Stef sighed an rubbed her head, "you go."

"Jesús is really high energy and he has been clashing with Callie. I think if I take him it will make things more peaceful. Plus, he and Brandon can do some brotherly bonding," Lena stated. "I think it would be good for them both." Lena was determined that her partner not be overburdened.

"Jesús _is_ high energy sweetheart, and car trips are really hard on him, not to mention the rest of us. You should take Mariana. She's pretty good about the concerts and she'll be calm on the car trip. You three introverts can do that recharging thing you love so much." Stf sighed, her partner was not subtle. She was so busy trying to make things easier for her that she wouldn't concentrate on herself.

"And leave you with the kids that are having behavior problems right now? That doesn't sound fair. If I leave Mariana here, maybe she and Callie will have a chance to bond for a little bit," Lena smoothed her hair back from her face as she tried to find an argument that would sway her partner.

"I think Callie and Jesús have a better chance of bonding," said Stef matter-of-factly. "Callie is still trying to intimidate Mariana whether is consciously or unconsciously. Mariana could use a break from that. Jesús isn't scared, he's just trying to defend his sister."

"That's exactly why they need some time together," argued Lena. "Mariana should feel safe in her own home and the only reason Callie is trying to scare her is because of how intuitive Mariana is. She's just afraid, Mariana will say something and break down those walls she's trying to fortify right now."

Propping her chin on her hand, Stef gazed at her partner. "You make good points but love, I really think you, Brandon, and Mariana could have a fun trip together." Lena looked torn so Stef pressed her advantage. "I'll do something fun with the kids, get them out of the house. It'll be good for all of them."

"But what if-"

"If there's problems, I'll deal with them. I have the weekend off and I'll make arrangements so I can get the kids after school. I know I definitely can get away early on Friday, and if I can't on Thursday, I'll get the afterschool club to take them for a couple of hours."

Lena's lips thinned, "Stef, Callie and Jude have never been to the afterschool program, they've only had us. That's too many changes for the weekend, especially when they're still so fragile, they might-"

Stef raised a hand, "I'll make sure I can get out early on Thursday then too. I'll spend the afternoon at the station, work on my paperwork. It needs to get done before it gets unmanageable."

"Okay," Lena's head lowered, "it sounds like it could work."

"Of course it will work," said Stef. "Everything's going to be fine."

Lena raised an eyebrow, "you know now that you've said it, you've jinxed it."

Stef snorted, "you know I don't believe that cr-stuff."

"Uh huh," said Lena, rolling off the bed and heading to the closet to get her suitcase.

"I don't," Stef called after her.

Lena just shook her head.

_Crap._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Wednesday night before the trip, Brandon and Mariana were bustling around the house, trying to get ready. Callie watched curiously from the hallway, then tentatively followed Mariana to her room and stood in the doorway. Mariana's happing humming faltered when she saw the other girl, but then she squared her shoulders, "you can come in if you want to," she said.

Callie shrugged from the doorway, but didn't move.

Mariana shrugged in return, and held one dress, then another up in front of the mirror, tilting her head slightly to analyze the effect of each. Since Callie was still just standing there, Mariana tried again, "I'm not sure which one looks better," she said, not really expecting an answer.

"The lavender one is pretty," Callie offered, moving into the room a little further.

Mariana turned, surprise marked clearly on her face, "th-thanks," she said. "It's one of my favorites. I just don't know if it's dressed up enough."

"Why does it have to be dressed up?" Callie asked.

"Some of Brandon's competitions are in fancy music halls. Mama says we have to dress nice, even though some people still just wear jeans and stuff."

"Oh."

"I better ask him. Brandon!" Mariana bellowed.

Callie blinked, startled. That was the loudest she ever heard the other girl. It was rather shocking to have such a loud shout come from such a tiny little thing.

"What, Mariana?" asked Brandon, appearing in the doorway with a pair of black pinstripe dress slacks slung over his arm.

"What kind of competition is it?"

"National."

"Really? So that's kind of a big one, right?"

Brandon shrugged, "I guess."

"So I should wear my best dress, right?"

"Whatever."

"Are you wearing your black suit?" Mariana said, indicating the slacks in his arms.

"Uh-huh."

"Wear the lavender tie that Grams got you for Easter," Mariana directed him firmly, "and the ivory shirt. That will look best."

Brandon blinked at her, "you know what kind of ties I have?"

"It's called fashion sense."

"It's called something," shaking his head, Brandon left the room.

"Tell Mama we need the dress bag! And you need to have shiny shoes!" Mariana yelled after him.

"I know!" he hollered back.

Jude came trotting into the room, making himself comfortable on Mariana's bed. Callie narrowed her eyes. "Where are you guys going again?" he asked.

"Oregon, there's a piano contest that Brandon's gonna be in."

"Mmm," Jude picked at his nails. "Why do you hafta go?"

"Mama asked me if I wanna go and I said yes. It'll be fun." Mariana pulled some socks from a drawer and thrust them into her suitcase.

"Why can't we go?"

Mariana turned, beginning to answer when Callie cut her off, "we can't. The stupid social worker said we aren't allowed."

"Why aren't we allowed?" asked Jude.

"We just aren't."

"But why?"

"Because mom's dead and dad's in prison," Callie's voice was bitter.

Jude's eyes filled with tears. Callie immediately sat next to him. "I'm sorry buddy," she said.

Mariana watched the siblings, a skirt clutched in her hands. She put it carefully in the suitcase and went to sit on the other side of Jude, "it will be better," she told him. "When me and Jesús were just fostered, not adopted, we got to go on lots of vacations with Mama and Mommy and Brandon."

Looking at her doubtfully, Jude rubbed his eyes, "really?"

"Yeah. Sometimes there's weird rules you have to follow, but things are better here," Mariana said.

"It's different," said Jude softly. "There's different rules then with Mommy and Daddy."

"Mama and Mommy don't like them either," said Mariana confidingly, "but Mom said she loves us so much she'd follow a million stupid rules just to have us."

"But Stef's a cop," said Jude, looking at her with wide eyes. "I thought she makes the rules 'cause she puts the bad people away."

"She does, but she has rules she has to follow too. So does Mama."

"Oh," Jude said.

Callie nodded at Mariana and watched as the other girl patted Jude's leg, and hopped off the bed. Jude spotted a stuffed animal that he liked and began to play with it. Callie watched him for a little while, then wandered into Brandon's room. Like Mariana, Brandon was busy practicing while Jesús, clad in pajamas, was building some sort of alien-looking thing with Legos. Callie tapped perfunctorily on the door and walked in.

"Hey," said Brandon, stopping his packing to look at her.

"Hi," Callie responded, leaning against the wall. She didn't say anything else, so Brandon shrugged an continued packing.

"Mariana seems excited," she said.

"Yeah, I guess," Brandon sounded distracted.

"I should get to go," said Jesús smashing part of the structure which apparently didn't conform to his vision. "I was gonna go, now I have to stay," he glared at his brother's back for good measure.

"You hate my concerts," Brandon reminded him patiently, continuing to pack, "last time you went Mom and to take you out of the auditorium."

"_You_ get to skip school," Jesús pointed out, aggrieved.

"Mom said you guys were going to do fun stuff too," Brandon reminded him.

"Yeah but she hasn't told me yet and maybe it will be dumb and boring."

"Don't say that to Mom," Brandon warned.

"I'm not dumb."

"No, you have ADD." Instantly a handful of Legos were thrown at Brandon's head. "I didn't mean it in a bad way," Brandon said, turning to face his brother, "you just sometimes say stuff before you think about it, remember?"

Since this was something that had been said to and around Jesús on nearly a daily basis, he nodded reluctantly, "you said it mean," he said, determined to hold a grudge.

"I'm sorry, okay," said Brandon, wanting to deescalate the situation quickly.

"Fine," Jesús returned disconsolately to his Legos.

Brandon looked at Callie, then back at his brother, frowning a little. "I'll bring you back something," he offered finally.

"What?" Jesús perked up a little.

"Umm, you can choose something, or a surprise," Brandon bargained.

"A surprise, a surprise!" said Jesús instantly. He jumped up and wrapped his brother in a bear hug. "Thanks Brandon!"

"S'ok," said Brandon, extracting himself quickly.

Jesús looked cautiously at Callie, really seeming to notice her now. "Mom says we're going to do fun stuff."

"Yeah, I heard her this morning too. What does that mean?" Callie asked, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Well, Mom likes adventures, so it'll probably be something cool, something we all like."

"Your Mom doesn't know what I like," Callie said firmly.

Brandon opened his mouth, then shut it when Callie looked at him. "She'll know," said Jesús confidently. "I'm going to ask her now." He darted out of the room before Callie could call him back.

Callie and Brandon looked at one another. "I didn't really want to go to your concert," Callie said, folding her arms.

"Okay," said Brandon.

"I just don't like that I didn't have a choice."

Brandon nodded, "yeah. I get that. You'll have fun with Mom though. Jesús is right, she'll choose something interesting."

Callie made her way further into the room, "don't you want your real mom with you for your concert?" she asked quietly.

"They're both my real moms," he responded just as quietly.

They looked at one another, then Callie nodded. Mariana popped into Brandon's room, waving a book, "I found one we can listen to in the car," she said excitedly, "it's called A Little Princess."

Brandon made a face, "no way," he dropped a pair of shoes with a thunk into his suitcase.

"This is a good book Brandon and I want to try it," Mariana demanded. "Mrs. Turner said I would like it."

"I'm not listening to that girly crap," said Brandon.

Mariana narrowed her eyes, "we're listening to this book, or I'm telling Mama you called it girly crap."

Brandon folded his arms, "if you tell Mama that, I'm telling her that you and Lexi spilled nail polish on the couch cushion yesterday.

Mariana gasped, "It was an accident," she protested.

"Yeah, but you turned the cushion to hide it and if Mama finds out she'll be ma-ad."

Mariana looked wildly at Callie, then Brandon. "If you tell Mama that then I'll tell her you and Jesús made a ramp and are trying to do flips!"  
Brandon opened his mouth then looked at Callie. Mariana looked at Callie too. This little round of Mutually Assured Destruction wasn't going to go very well if Callie turned on both of them. "Are you gonna tell our moms?" asked Brandon finally.

"Like they'd believe me over their real kids," said Callie off-handedly, backing away from them both.

Mariana frowned like she was going to say something then that, then turned back to her brother. "You won't tell."

"We both don't say anything," he said.

"Fine!"

"Fine."

They glared at one another. Then Brandon pulled out a audiobook case, "besides, I got a book we'll both like. It's by that author Suzanne Collins, the one who wrote the Gregor books."

"That was a boy book," said Mariana. "No way. I want one with a girl pro-tag-o-nist," she enunciated this word carefully.

"This one is all about a girl. Her name is Katniss."

Mariana looked grudgingly interested. "What's it about?"

"Well…" Brandon prevaricated, "there is some fighting but I heard there's a love story."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Only if we get to listen to Cheetah Girls when it's our turn to pick the music."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Nodding is satisfaction, the two went back to their respective packing. With a little start, Callie realized she was going to miss them.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Having just Stef and Jesús around was different. Even though Mariana and Brandon weren't very loud (except when they fought with each other and Jesús), the house seemed a hundred percent quieter. Jesús seemed a bit at loose ends too, never having been separated from both his siblings at the same time before. Stef…Stef wasn't different, which was kind of reassuring, she was afraid maybe she'd turn real mean, but Callie was surprised athow much she missed Lena too. Lena was so quiet, but everything she did impacted the household on a daily basis.

Stef cleared her throat at the breakfast table, "so I'm going to pick you guys up from school today and after we finish homework and chores I thought we could have a game night."

"That'd be okay," said Jesús. "What are we going to play? Payday, Monopoly, Sorry, Connect 4-" he could have continued in this vein for awhile, they did have a rather large closet full of games, but Stef stopped him with a gentle touch.

"I thought we could go get a brand new game, one the three of you get to choose," Stef said, pouring maple syrup onto her cereal.

"Really? Mariana and Brandon don't get to help?" asked Jesús

"Nope, they aren't here, so its just us chickens," said Stef.

"Chickens," said Jude, giggling a little into his cereal bowl.

"What do you think about that, Callie?" asked Stef, directing her gaze to the little girl who was stirring her milk around in her bowl.

"That's be good," she said quietly, breaking eye contact on the last word.

"What are we going to do Friday and Saturday and Sunday, Mommy?" asked Jesús, bouncing a little in excitement. He could tell from his mother's face, that she had _plans_.

"Well, on Friday I thought we'd have pizza and make our own sundaes and watch some movies. We can even get in our cozy pajamas."

"Yes!" said Jesús.

"Do we all get to pick the movies?" asked Jude.

"Yup," said Stef

"And the ice cream flavors?" Jude sounded like he was getting as excited as Jesús.

"Of course," said Stef.

"What about the toppings?" Callie asked.

"Can't have a sundae without toppings," said Stef agreeably.

"Now Saturday Mommy, tell us about Saturday!"

"After breakfast on Saturday we'll go to Trampoline World and stay there for awhile. We'll bring a picnic lunch when we get hungry so we can get back on the trampolines…after we take a good long rest," Stef amended, remembering a particularly unfortunate experience with Mariana, trampolines, and projectile vomiting. "The afternoon is when they have their dodgeball tournaments."

"Dodgeball, dodgeball, dodgeball," Jesús chanted, getting up from his seat to run around the table, nearly dancing in his excitement.

"Annnd that reminds me," said Stef, getting up and getting his medication from the new lockbox, gesturing for him to come over at the same time. "She shoots-" she said, waiting for him to open his mouth. She gave the pill a little toss, "she scores!" she raised her hand and she and Jesús high fived one another.

"Good job, Mom," he said swallowing, then went back to the table for some juice.

"What's dodgeball?" asked Jude, watching the proceedings with a small smile.

"I don't think you'd like it," said Callie. "People throw balls at each another." On the other hand, she would have a wonderful time. She had a great aim and was small enough to duck a lot of the balls that would be aimed at her. She looked at Jesús critically, they would probably be on the same team. He was fast, she'd have to give him that. He probably would be pretty good.

"Jude can hang out with me," said Stef. "We'll be the cheerleaders."

"That'd be fun!" said Jude.

"What about Sunday?" Callie asked, pushing her cereal around some more.

"Science Center," said Stef simply, taking a bite.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Jesús said. "Mariana and Brandon are going to be so jealous!"

"Have you been to the science center Callie?" asked Stef.

"We both have," Jude said, "we went last year when I was five. I loved the stuff with the magnets. Mommy made Callie and my's hair stand up with the static." He smiled at the memory.

Callie gave him a half-smile but she had gone quiet. _Uh-oh_, Stef thought, _maybe going to the science center isn't such a great idea._

The drive to school had most of the kids talking. Jesús was a chatterbox on any occasion, but with the line-up of adventures planned for the weekend, he talked non-stop. Once and awhile, Jude would chime in, mostly to ask questions but also to share some of what he wanted to do. Callie only answered questions in monosyllables, and Stef's heart sank a little. She really wanted all the kids to have fun this weekend. Up until the mention of the science center, Callie was looking pretty excited. Maybe she needed to change the plans, at least for Sunday. She parked the car in the school lot and walked the kids to class, Jesús and even Jude accepted kisses from her. Callie drew back somewhat, so Stef squeezed her shoulder in lieu of a kiss. "I'll see you later babies," she said cheerfully. Walking back to the car, she felt an overwhelming desire to talk to her partner. She slipped in her Bluetooth as she made the call, "Hi love," she said.

"Hey sweetheart," Lena. "Just a second. Mariana, talk to Mommy for a minute."

"I want to talk to Mom!" said Brandon in the background.

"After your sister," said Lena.

"Hi Mommy!" Mariana's voice was bright with excitement. "We're having so much fun! We're playing car Bingo and I'm winning and we're listening to The Hunger Games and it's really exciting and Mama said we could play the Slugbug game but we're throwing pillows at each other instead of punching. For breakfast today we had cinnamon rolls and they were so, so good," she finally took a breath.

"I'm shocked that Mama let you eat that much sugar," joked Stef, opening her car door and seating herself inside.

"Let me talk to Mom now," Brandon insisted. "I want to tell her stuff too."

"Not yet!" Mariana insisted.

"There was a swimming pool at the hotel last night and Mama let us swim before we went to bed, we even got to swim when it was dark out then Mama and Brandon and me all squished on a floatie raft and we watched all the stars come out."

"That sounds like so much fun baby," said Stef as she drove out of the school parking lot, on her way to the station.

"Mariana," now Brandon was whining, "it's _my_ turn. Mama says."

"Fine," Mariana huffed. "Love you Mommy. Miss you!"

"I miss you too sweetheart and love you like crazy. Go ahead and put your brother on before he combusts."

"Okay, bye!"

"Hi Mommy," Brandon said.

"Hi baby, it sounds like you are having a great time."

"Yeah, it's a lot of fun," said Brandon. He paused, then heaved a giant sigh, "Mariana already told you everything though. It's not fair."

"She didn't tell me about what you saw on the drive yesterday."

While Brandon filled her in, she internally mapped options to the science center. "How are you feeling about the competition?" she asked him when he wound down.

"Good. I think I'm gonna do good Mommy."

"I know you're going to do well baby. Go ahead and put Mama on, I'm almost at work and I need to talk to her."

"Okay. Love you!"

"Love you too."

"Hey honey."

The moment Lena's voice filled her ear, she could feel herself relaxing. "Not that I minded, but why'd you hand me off to the kids?"

Lena's voice sounded guilty, "I had to dig out the hands-free thing."

Stef chuckled.

"Well, I wasn't expecting any calls, not so soon anyway. And…okay, I forgot," Lena admitted. "But I have it now. Am I off the hook, Officer?"

"It's not a law yet baby, I just feel better when you use it."

"I know. How are you doing?"

"Me? I'm doing fine, great. How about you?"

"Well, we're having some interesting discussions regarding The Hunger Games. I'm glad it's a book I insisted on listening to with them."

"That's good," said Stef. She stared at the bumper of the red Toyota in front of her. She felt like she'd been behind them forever.

"How's it going with the kids?" Lena asked.

"We're fine. Really. I told them what I planned and they seemed pretty excited."

"That's good."

"Right up to the point when I told them about the science center." Stef kneaded her hands against the steering wheel.

"They didn't want to go?"

"Well, they didn't say that but Callie got quiet. Very quiet. I dunno, maybe I should so something else."

"Like what?"

"I want it to be something active, the more it wears Jesús out the better."

"A hike?"

"I thought about that, but Jude will only be able to go so far, he's just a little guy." Stef finally pulled into the station's parking lot and parked the car.

"True. Maybe Balboa Park?"

"I don't know. I wanted something a little out of the ordinary, but we can't really afford to spend a bunch of money, either."

"Well, I think I'd talk to Callie first. The science museum could still be an option, and it would be a lot of fun."

"Yeah," Stef cupped her hand around her ear, as if she could touch her lover through the connection, "that's a good idea sweetheart. I'll do that."

"Good. Let me know how it goes."

"I will," she paused, "I have to go. I'm at the station."

"Okay. Have a good day. Be careful."

"I will."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stef decided to they'd go to the park to run off some energy before picking up the game. Never relaxing completely, she walked as the children bounded across the play structures, alternately chasing and ignoring one another. After awhile, Callie came to join her. "Hey kiddo, having fun?"

"Uh-huh," Callie leaned against the bench, unconsciously copying Stef's body language.

"So I want to talk to you," said Stef, not bothering with small talk. "You seemed upset when I mentioned the science center today." She pushed her sunglasses up her nose as she looked at Callie.

Callie dug the toe of her shoe in the grass and shrugged.

"Did you have a good time when you went there last?"

"Yeah," Callie whispered.

"I think it must be really hard because even the happy memories you have of your parents make you sad," Stef spoke quietly, tilting her head as she spoke. "Sometimes it must feel like every place you spent with them is like a graveyard."

Callie blinked at her, then nodded very slowly.

"I get that sweetheart, I do. But I'm a mom and I can tell you, without a shred of doubt that your mom would want you to do fun things. She'd want you to laugh again. If you do that, you aren't doing anything bad. I promise you," she stopped and took the child's hand in her own, "I _promise_ you, she wants you to happy."

Callie said nothing, but she squinted at the sky. As Stef watched, Callie's head moved in almost an imperceptible nod.

_Okay._


	8. Bounce

Ch. 8: Bounce

Stef watched her children as they bounced wildly along the trampolines. Jesús was laughing like a little maniac as Jude giggled. Even Callie's smile, rare as the Okapi, appeared several times. Jesús was trying to copy a lot of the tricks he could see the older children performing. Being fairly athletic, he was able to do them, but with more enthusiasm rather than flair. Callie stayed close to her little brother, who seemed slightly overwhelmed by the amount of bigger children around him, even though none of them had threatened the little boy or bothered him in anyway. Most of the little ones seemed to congregate in another area, but since he wanted to be with his sister, he stuck close by her. Making a decision, Stef peeled off her shoes and joined her children.

"Mommy!" screamed Jesús happily, bouncing into her arms and nearly dislocating her jaw in the process.

"Hey baby," she said fondly, kissing the top of his head.

Callie was frowning slightly in her direction, "I don't think you're supposed to be here Stef," she said seriously.

The older woman hid a grin, since when was Callie a rule conformist? "Actually," she said, "this is an all-ages jump, not just a kids' jump, so I am perfectly within the rules."

"None if the other parents are out here," Callie pointed out, looking around them and pointing to the rest of the parents who, for the most part, were loitering near the edges of the trampolines, checking their cell phones, sipping coffee, and talking to one another.

"That's true," said Stef, "I guess I'm the only fun parent here." She smiled at Callie, and the girl gave her a teeny-tiny smile in return.

"Mommy, Mommy, will you wrestle me again like you did with Brandon and me last time? That was so fun!" Jesús yelled. Not waiting for permission, he leaped at her in a low tackle.

Luckily, years of living with her energetic little boy taught her to be ready for these not-so-stealthy attacks. She grabbed him as he came for her and flipped him over so that he landed on his back.

He lay there, giggling as he stared up at her. "Again!"

She gave him her best Matrix _come and get it motion_, and he leaped for her again. Being ready this time, she was able to actually flip him over her head. This got a disapproving throat clear from the teenage attendant who was supposedly monitoring the trampoline. Stef gave him an apologetic wave as her son came at her a third time. She flipped him on his back again and he stayed put for a moment, breathing hard. Stef was delighted, she could do this for awhile and Jesús would be tuckered out for at least an hour. She turned to Jude and Callie who had been watching the proceedings with wide eyes.

"Wow!" squeaked Jude finally, "can I try that?" He took a couple of unsteady steps towards her.

"Sure," Stef replied, this time beckoning in a more benign gesture.

Callie looked nervous as Jude ran to Stef, only to be swept up and lightly dropped on his backside. He giggled as he bounced, the motion of the other children on the trampolines jostling him further. He looked at Stef, delighted, "again!" he said, echoing Jesús. He jumped up and ran at Stef. This time, she picked him up, twirled him, and dropped with him in her arms to the surface of the trampoline. He tightened his arms around her neck, and she could feel his little heart beating. When she splayed her arms across the trampoline in a supine position, he copied her. Their bodies bounced as they looked at the ceiling, then one another. Jude's smile had the same little boy sweetness as her sons. Stef felt a pang amid her pleasure. She rolled to her feet and looked at Callie who had managed to stay nearly in the same spot as before, quite a feat considering the small group of Tigger-ish children around her.

"Do you want to try Callie?" Stef asked. Callie put the tip of her thumb in her mouth, something Stef noticed she did when she was anxious or trying to think things through. _She must have sucked her thumb as a baby_, Stef thought tenderly.

"Nu-uh," Callie shook her head. Her eyes said something else though. It wasn't playfulness, not yet, but she clearly _wanted_ to play.

"Are you sure, love? I think I could take you," said Stef, keeping her tone and body language non-threatening.

Callie shook her head again, but she edged forward. "How can you do that?" she asked. "I've never seen a woman do that kind of stuff."

"Well, I have to keep pretty strong, to be on the force," said Stef, managing to stay on her feet as the sea of children bobbed around her.

"Mommy has to take down bad guys," said Jesús. "Ka-blam! Just like that," he said, grabbing Jude and trying to throw him down onto the trampoline.

"Jude!" said Callie.

"Jesús, stop!" said Stef at the same time.

Unfortunately they were close to the platform and Jude was pushed onto the unyielding, wooden dais. He held out his hands to protect himself, landing hard on his hands and knees. "Ow," he whimpered.

"Oops. I'm sorry Jude," I didn't mean to," said Jesús, trying to bounce his way over to the smaller boy to help him up.

Jude raised his hands to look at them, "owie!" he yelled, holding out his skinned hands in supplication towards Stef. "Mooommmmy!" Tears began making their way down his face.

Stef managed to scoop him up quickly, getting ready to body check Callie who had made it to her brother at the same time. Stef was sure the little girl was going to go after Jesús. Instead Callie stood there stunned, weakly holding her brother's hand as Jude howled again.

Stef cradled the back of his head, motioning Jesús and Callie to follow her. She moved them off to a less crowded area, sitting in a convenient chair with Jude in her lap. "Lemme, see buddy," she crooned gently. "Let me see where it hurts."

He blinked at her, tears rolling down his face, "Mommy," he whimpered.

Stef knew he wasn't calling to her, he wanted _his_ mommy; the one who'd kissed all his scrapes and made the hurt go away. "I know, love," she whispered. She rearranged him so she could get a look at his wounds.

Now Jude could see his sister, "Callie," he cried, holding his arms out to her. She went over to him immediately, putting her arms around him. "I'm here, baby, I'm here," she said, touching her forehead to his own.

"Got bloods on me," he said, sniffing and clutching at her sleeve with one hand. "Want Mommy."

"Me too," she whispered.

Jesús was looking between the Jacob siblings, lips puckered in consternation. Now Callie looked as if she were going to cry.

"What does Mommy do when you're hurt?" said Stef, pitching her voice low. "What magic did Mommy use?" She mangled the verb tenses intentionally, trying to make their mother seem not so far away.

Callie took a deep breath, "she, she…" she sniffed again, straightening her shoulders, "we need Band-aids," she said.

"Band-aids?" sniffed Jude.

"Uh-huh, 'member?"

"Nu-uh," bawled Jude, clinging to Callie and Stef harder.

"Yes you do. You do," Callie insisted. "Mommy always did the thing with the Band-aids and the kisses."

Jude shook his head again but Stef could see the recognition in his eyes. "Let's go get Band-Aids then," she said. She put him on one hip, using the other hand to cup the back of Jesús's head, then Callie's head to urge them forward.

"I didn't mean too Mommy," said Jesús, tugging her shirt. "I didn't! I was just playing with him like I do with Brandon."

"I know baby, but you have to remember that Jude is littler than you. You and Brandon have always been pretty much the same size, so you can play at the same level." She led her little trio over to the counter where one of the teenage trampoline

attendants looked at her worriedly.

"Dude, what happened?"

"Just a little fall," Stef said. Dude. Really? And from the kid's big-eyed look at the blood, he wasn't well-equipped to deal with even minor injuries. "We need some Band-Aids."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Uh," he looked around vaguely. "Yo, Teresa! Where's the Band-Aids?"

"First aid kit," said a girl with green striped hair and tight braids as she ran a card through the reader and inputted the amount.

"Sure. Right. Where's the first aid kit?"

Stef sighed loudly in annoyance as Jude continued to whimper in her ear. "Oh my G-d," said Callie loudly as she grabbed onto the counter with both hands to glare at the teen, "are you a complete moron or something? Get the first aid kit! Now!"

"Callie," chastised Stef.

"I'm getting-" the kid started.

Luckily the girl, Teresa, hip-checked him away from the counter and dug underneath it. Within five seconds, a battered but serviceable first aid kit lay in front of them. "This is it."

"Band-Aids," said Callie imperiously holding out her right hand.

"Hey," said Stef, raising an eyebrow.

"Please," Callie corrected herself.

"Here ya go," said Teresa, handing the box to Stef.

Again, Stef bundled her small brood to another area, hopefully from as many prying eyes as possible. "Jesús, got to the bathroom and get some paper towels. Then you need to them wet," she said to her son.

"Okay Mommy." Jesús rushed off to do so.

Stef put Jude on her lap facing Callie. The little girl began peeling the papers off some Band-Aids. "Okay Jude," said Callie tenderly. "We gotta put the Band-Aids on first."

"Actually, let's wipe the blood off first, Callie-girl," said Stef as she saw her son rush towards them with several wads of paper towels, dripping with water. The water trail looked silver under the lights, leading straight to them. Hmm. That was going to have to be a problem for someone else for a little bit, Stef decided.

"I got lots and lots Mommy, just in case," said Jesús thrusting the wet bundle at her face.

"Thanks, baby," she said. She peeled a couple off and handed it to Callie. "Let's do this together kiddo," she said. They each took one of Jude's hands. Stef began dabbing gently at the shallow wounds, and Callie studiously copied each of her motions. After noticing Jude's wince, Stef decided to distract him. "Jude?" she asked, still keeping her voice soothing, "have you ever heard of the magical land of Po-po-ma-sharee?"

"No," said Jude quietly, shaking his head with a little sniff. Stef was pretty sure he wasn't hurt badly, but there was a lot of blood.

"It's a magic land," Jesús burst out, leaning over Stef's shoulder to watch.

"It's a magic land," agreed Stef "and for every child that goes there, it changes so it has every magical creature they could ever want to see and any food they'd ever want to eat." She went down one side of his hand, then the other.

"Really?"

"Uh-huh," said Stef. "What would your Po-po-ma-sharee have in it?"

Jude stopped sniffling to consider the question carefully. "Mine'd have a T-Rex," yelled Jesús, putting his chin on his mother's shoulder.

"T-Rex's are dinosaurs, they aren't magical, just extinct," said Callie, not looking up from her operation.

Jesús looked at Stef appealingly, "but they could still be there, right Mommy? 'Cause it's my Po-po-ma-sharee," he said.

"Of course, love." To her pleasure, Jude had stopped sniffling and was frowning as he tried to come up with an answer.

"Mine'd be unicorns," said Jude. "Unicorns and Pegasuses and Koalas."

"I seen a koala at the zoo, right Mommy?" asked Jesús.

"Yes you did," said Stef. "One of the laziest bears on the planet." The wounds were now clean, and looked much better than they had before.

Jude ignored the operation for the time being, "when I'm there I'd eat lots of ice-cream and red velvet cupcakes. And all kinds of candy," he paused, "and plums…and yogurt raisins."

"I'd have ice cream too,' said Callie, "and ice shavings. Some of those Sour Patch Kids too."

"Sounds very good," said Stef.

Callie looked critically at Jude's wounds, "they're better," she said, looking at Stef for confirmation.

"They look a lot better," agreed Stef.

"Okay, here's the last part." Callie looked at her brother, "ready Jude?"

The little boy drew back a little, "is it gonna hurt?"

"Nope." Callie peeled the backing off one Band-Aids and lay it diagonally across the scrapes on one hand. Then she did the same with another Band-Aid, only in the other direction. Stef and Jesús traded puzzled glances as she repeated the process on the other hand. "There," she sounded satisfied. The she kissed the concealed wounds. "X marks the spot," she said, smiling at Jude.

"X marks the spot," he repeated, a sudden grin lighting his face. "You did is 'zactly right Callie. Just like Mommy."

"Yeah."

There was a sudden lightness on the child's face and Stef knew, or hoped she knew the reason why. Callie and Jude had lost almost everything of their mother, her presence, her pictures, almost everything that belonged to her. But this little ritual was proof that not everything had vanished. Certain mannerisms, habits, words, and rituals were living reminders of their mother. Those small things, that made a person who they were, were present in her children. Those things had not disappeared…and from the growing smile on Callie's face…Stef knew she had found them.


End file.
